- Shifty man: Well?
- Indiana Jones: I hear the price of cabbage is high this year.
- Shifty man: Not as high as the price of beets. Beets, they're outrageous.
- Indiana Jones: On the other hand, carrots are a dime a dozen. I'd stock up on them if I were you.
- Indiana Jones: I've been lighting matches out here for two hours. Haven't you seen me?
- Shifty man: Of course not. I'm blind, you idiot.
- Very Big Man - Ministery of Telephones: If the removal department had removed your phone, sir, there'd be a form accordingly and as you can see
- [holds up an empty tray]
- Very Big Man - Ministery of Telephones: there isn't one.
- [taps the tray]
- Very Big Man - Ministery of Telephones: So we can't have removed it. Naturally therefore, we can't replace it.
- Indiana Jones: Perhaps someone removed it, but didn't fill out the form?
- Very Big Man - Ministery of Telephones: In other words, a theft.
- Indiana Jones: This is absolutely ridiculous. All I want is a new phone. I went to the ministry of phones and my form blew out the window. and then I went out onto the ledge and pigeon knocked it into the street. And a man stepped on it. And then I had to chase after a tram and a woman hit me with her handbag and so I went to the police. They made me fill it out in German. And then they gave me the third degree and then they put me in jail.
- Franz Kafka: What you're saying is, you're upset.
- Indiana Jones: No, I'm not upset, I'm incandescent with rage!
- Indiana Jones: Mr. Kafka, I'll never forget this.
- Franz Kafka: Oh, you can even make bureaucracy interesting, if you have a little imagination.
- The Prague Spy: All I can say is: if that telephone is not installed in the apartment first thing in the morning, I will have you shot as a traitor.
- Indiana Jones: It will be.
- Indiana Jones: I guess you'll connect it up now, right?
- 2nd Installer: Connect it up? To the wires you mean?
- Indiana Jones: Well yeah, the wires.
- 1st Installer: Eh, we're telephone installers, eh, Mr. Shubelgruber.
- 2nd Installer: We wouldn't dream of connecting them.
- 1st Installer: No, that's eh...
- 2nd Installer: Connections.
- 1st Installer: Connections, that's right.
- 2nd Installer: Naturally.
- 1st Installer: Of course.
- 2nd Installer: That's an entirely different department.