- Nancy Krieger Weston: So, where are they?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Michael just left.
- Nancy Krieger Weston: They should be here by now.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: She'll be here when she gets here. And then you can all get a good look at Emily. And you can laugh and act 16 and giggle, and embarrass yourselves to your hearts' content.
- Emily Burch: Hello, Michael.
- Michael Steadman: Hello.
- Emily Burch: Goodbye, Michael.
- Michael Steadman: Was it something I said?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: She wasn't his girlfriend.
- Ellyn Warren: Oh, right.
- Melissa Steadman: Oh, Emily. You want to know if they ever did it?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Melissa!
- Melissa Steadman: Take it from me. They never did. He'd have told me.
- Ellyn Warren: He'd have told you?
- Melissa Steadman: Yeah, I heard about every girl he ever slept with.
- Ellyn Warren: [glancing at Hope] Every girl?
- Melissa Steadman: Yeah, I've got them all on individual index cards. One day, I'm gonna put them on hard disk.
- Michael Steadman: What's 8:00?
- Elliot Weston: Oh, it's when I'm picking her up.
- Michael Steadman: Who?
- Elliot Weston: Emily.
- Michael Steadman: Uh, wait a second. What do you mean you're picking her up?
- Elliot Weston: I'm taking her to dinner.
- Michael Steadman: Emily?
- Elliot Weston: Emily, yeah. You know what, Mike? You're right. She's keen.
- Michael Steadman: Keen?
- Elliot Weston: Keen. You-You met her before you met Hope, right?
- Michael Steadman: Right.
- Elliot Weston: But you married Hope?
- Michael Steadman: Obviously.
- Elliot Weston: Hmm, interesting.
- Melissa Steadman: Don't waste your time being angry with Gary. Trust me, it's like getting upset about continental drift.
- Michael Steadman: No, I'm not angry with him.
- Melissa Steadman: Then you're angry at Emily?
- Michael Steadman: I'm not angry at anybody. You know, what right do I have to be angry?
- Melissa Steadman: Michael, you can't hide from the shadow. I know that clenched look. I've known it since the 1964 World's Fair when they told you you couldn't live with the happy robot family on the GE Carousel of Progress.
- Michael Steadman: What are you talking about?
- Melissa Steadman: I'm talking about how you hate being caught thinking something you're not supposed to be thinking or wanting something you're not supposed to want.
- Michael Steadman: Thank you. Is there a couch here? Maybe we could set up a regular time.
- Elliot Weston: How come I never met her?
- Michael Steadman: Uh, she's, uh... she went to England her sophomore year. We've been writing back and forth. She's only been back in the country two, four years now.
- Elliot Weston: You've been trysting through the mail for 15 years?
- Michael Steadman: Oh, it wasn't a tryst. She's my friend.
- Elliot Weston: Your girlfriend.
- Michael Steadman: She wasn't my girlfriend.
- Elliot Weston: And you get to have her sleep over at your house. I really ought to kill you.
- Elliot Weston: I'm excited to meet somebody who witnessed your puberty from the ground level. Is she gonna be in time for Janey's party?
- Michael Steadman: Um... yes. She'll be there.
- Elliot Weston: Great. Great.
- Michael Steadman: But you won't.
- Elliot Weston: Great. Great. No, I understand. I do. I mean, the kids, right? I mean, i-it's better that Nancy be there. I mean, you have to assure domestic tranquility. I mean, I can grasp the situation. I really can. I'll just go down to the mission with the rest of the forgotten men.
- Michael Steadman: I want you to know that this awkwardness doesn't change the true nature of our friendship. You're still expected to buy my daughter a present.
- Elliot Weston: I was gonna pay for her college education. Now I'll just fob her off with some Colorforms.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Maybe I shouldn't have told you.
- Nancy Krieger Weston: No, no. I mean, I went out on a date. Uh, Michael told Elliot, and I mean, you know, this is all supposed to be okay. Elliot is dating. I wonder what that's like to date Elliot. I mean, we never dated. We slept together the second night we knew each other, and then he moved right into my dorm room. And now it's 14 years later and Elliot's dating. Elliot is dating the woman I am having lunch with today. Oh, this is so weird. Why did you tell me this?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: How could I not tell you?
- Nancy Krieger Weston: Well, now that you've told me, how am I supposed to act with her?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: You said it was okay.
- Nancy Krieger Weston: Yes, Hope, but that doesn't mean that it's okay. I mean, I was all set to be very adult-like and talk about my work, and-and I promised myself that I wouldn't equivocate or deflect any compliments if there were any.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Nancy, I'm sorry. I had no idea when I invited this woman to stay here that she was gonna put the moves on your husband.
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: I don't know. It's so ridiculous. I mean, I came out of the bathroom, and Michael was gone. He must have gone downstairs and asked her to leave, because I woke up this morning and she was packing. A cab came and took her away. So, I won.
- Nancy Krieger Weston: What did you win?
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: Well, I got him to do something he didn't want to do, so I won. Does that sound as pathetic as it feels?
- Michael Steadman: There's no singing in the office. If you can't behave, put your head down on the desk and have quiet time.