Family Guy (TV Series)
Sibling Rivalry (2006)
Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Gym Teacher, Woman in Bed
Photos
Quotes
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Lois Griffin : [Lois and Peter wait for a pregnancy test] God, I can't believe we weren't more careful. This probably happened that night we tried role playing.
Lois Griffin : [flashback] Oh, I need a spankin'. I'm a bad, bad girl.
Peter Griffin : I'm a Paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helm of disintegration and do one D4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus-five holy avenger.
Lois Griffin : Paladin's can't use the helm of disintegration.
Peter Griffin : Oh. Then, I'm a black guuuuy.
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Lois Griffin : Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter Griffin : Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant. We can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian Griffin : Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Nite lineup.
Peter Griffin : Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian Griffin : That's Street Fighter.
Peter Griffin : Red, blue, green.
Brian Griffin : Those are colors.
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Lois Griffin : Do you think I'm fat?
Waiter in restaurant : Only if you think I'm a serial killer.
Lois Griffin : What?
Waiter in restaurant : Nothing.
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Dr. Elmer Hartman : Well, Mrs. Griffin, you rest up for a few days and you'll be just fine.
Lois Griffin : Thank you, doctor. I've realized now that eating is not the way to solve my problems. You hear that, Meg?
Meg Griffin : For your information, mom, I don't eat to solve my problems. I cut myself. Is that better?
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Lois Griffin : Chris did you get your homework done?
Chris Griffin : Yep.
Lois Griffin : Chris, I know when you're lying to me, just like Santa Claus knows when you're sleeping.
[short scene with Santa Claus]
Chris Griffin : No mom, I've got it all done. For my science homework I had to make a shoebox diarrhea of the evolution of man.
Lois Griffin : You mean diorama.
Chris Griffin : Ooo-oooohh.
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[after a night of sex]
Lois Griffin : Last night was amazing.
Peter Griffin : It was, wasn't? Fat sex is the hottest sex we've ever had. There were so many boobs, I didn't know whose boobs I was grabbing, your boobs or my boobs.
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Peter Griffin : Now come here, my fat concubine.
[shoves a slice of cake in Lois's mouth]
Lois Griffin : Peter, I'm not even hungry.
Peter Griffin : I want you bigger! I want you fatter! It will please me.