- Mike Hammer: Like the man said, we get letters: are you satisfied with your front lawn; how does your garden grow; wouldn't you rather be driving a better car; twenty dollars will support a Maori headhunter for a month - please remit. I file 'em.
- [Mike dumps the letters into his wastepaper basket, but one catches his eye]
- [last lines]
- [Mike starts to read his mail]
- Mike Hammer: Dear Mr. Hammer, you've got to help me. I'm in deep trouble; I'm being held against my will... Oh, no!
- [Mike tears the letter up into little pieces and peruses the rest of his mail]
- Mike Hammer: Bills, bills, bills, bills...
- [Mike picks up the last envelope, sniffs it, smiles and opens it]
- Mike Hammer: Dear Mr. Hammer, my name is Paula Smith. I'm 21 years old and I need your help. I'm desperate. You see, when I...
- [Mike scans the rest of the page, wide-eyed, then smiles]