The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Cartridge Family (1997)
Harry Shearer: TV Commercial Voice, Kent Brockman, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Ex-con Salesman, Louie, Dr. Hibbert
Quotes
-
Homer : [the soccer game has bored everyone to silence] Boring!
Krusty the Clown : Come on, you shnorers! Do something!
Kent Brockman : [bored] Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it.
[sighs]
Kent Brockman : Holds it.
Foreign-accented sports commentator : [excited] Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds It!
-
Ex-con Salesman : [Homer kicks the salesman out] But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives?
Homer : I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are.
-
Kent Brockman : What started out as a traditional soccer riot has quickly escalated into a city-wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby declared "mob rule", meaning for the next several years, it's every family for themselves...
-
Agnes Skinner : [Homer turns the TV on by shooting his gun at it] I've never seen such recklessness!
Louie : You mighta hurt someone!
Cletus : Are you some kind of moron?
Homer : Yeah, but...
Krusty : Hey, yutz! Guns aren't toys. They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face.
-
TV Commercial Voice : You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!
Homer : Oh, I never heard of those people.
TV Commercial Voice : And they'll all be signing autographs!
Homer : Woo-hoo!
-
Bart Simpson : Hey, is that a camera in the ceiling?
Camera : No. Go back to sleep.
-
Ex-con Salesman : Looks like you called me just in time. This home isn't secure at all.
[starts to pocket a few items from around the house]
Homer : What did I tell you, Marge?
Ex-con Salesman : Intruders could come in down the chimney, through the mail slot, even hidden in your groceries.
-
Homer : [the Mexican soccer team has the first possession of the ball and is cautiously kicking the ball around, setting up for a goal as the Portugal team stands there, awaiting the play to develop. The crowd quickly grows bored]
[shouts]
Homer : Boring!
Krusty : Come on, you schnorers, do something!
Kent Brockman : [sounding bored as he calls the actions] Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it.
[rolls eyes]
Kent Brockman : Holds it...
Foreign-accented sports commentator : [excitedly] Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!
Sideshow Mel : I can't bear this any longer, I'm leaving!
Moe : Yeah, not before me you ain't.
Ned Flanders : Now, now, there's plenty of exits for everyone!
Moe : Oh, that's it, you're dead, pal!
[puts Flanders into a headlock]
Principal Skinner : Hey, now, that's uncalled for.
Lenny : Shut your hole, Skinner!
[punches Skinner in the stomach which causes him to fall down the stairs]
-
Lenny : Assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately, but they're manufactured for a reason: to take out today's modern super animals, such as the flying squirrel, and the electric eel.
