South Park (TV Series)

Jared Has Aides (2002)

Eliza Schneider: Christine Jonas, Mayor McDaniels

Quotes 

• [the citizens of South Park are about to hang Jared] 

  Stan Marsh : Stop!

  Chef : Stay back, children! Jared wants to give you all AIDS!

  Stan Marsh : No, you don't understand. Jared doesn't have AIDS aides! He has assistants! Two guys who help him out that he calls his aides!

  Mayor McDaniels : Oh! So Jared's aides are like my aides?

  Jared Fogle : Yes! You mean you thought I meant? Oh my god!

  Chef : So what he was really saying was that children should have the same kind of help that he did.