South Park (TV Series)
Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods (1998)
Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Barnaby Jones' Accomplice, Missy, Tommy, Man at Laser Show, Teenager #2, News Reporter, Fosse, TV Announcer
Quotes
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Kyle : [haiku] Fat ass Cartman was/ not on the school bus today/ What a big fat turd
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Stan : Does that mean you're gonna be in that cheesy poofs commercial?
Cartman : It's between me and 4 other kids. I'm on my way with my mum to the final.
Kyle : [haiku] I bet you don't win/They don't let big fat asses/Perform on TV.
Mr. Garrison : Very good Kyle.
Cartman : [attempting a haiku] Shut your goddamn mouth/Or else I'm gonna kick you/ Square in the balls asshole
[realises he has said one syllable too many]
Cartman : Ah dammit!
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Mr. Garrison : [Mr. Garrison has just shown his class an episode of Barnaby Jones] Okay, children, what do you think Barnaby Jones meant when he said, "This is not a victimless crime"? Anybody? Children, were you paying attention?
Kyle : Mr. Garrison, we've been watching Barnaby Jones repeats for eight days now. It's hard to keep paying attention.
Mr. Garrison : Oh, well excuse me, Kyle! Why don't you just *forget* what Barnaby Jones has to say? Why don't you *not* pay attention to Barnaby Jones and then let's see how far you get in society?
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Barnaby Jones' Accomplace : Well, detective. It looks like ya fooled them again.
Barnaby Jones : [Sounding old abd labored] All in a day's work, I guess. I just hope that next time, I won't have to run so much.
[the end credits roll and the TV is turned off]