- Marge Simpson: Homer, I'm a little worried that you're getting too caught up in this silly golf tournament.
- Homer: But Marge, this is our big chance to show up the Flanderses!
- Marge Simpson: Well, I'm sure it is, but why would we wanna do that?
- Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad! And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
- Marge Simpson: Mmmm...
- [Homer is reading Ned Flander's letter]
- Homer: You are my brother.
- [Homer, Bart, and Lisa laugh]
- Homer: I love you.
- [They laugh again]
- Homer: And yet I feel a great sadness... in my bosom.
- [They're hysterically laughing]
- Homer: Wait, there's more.
- [the others laugh again]
- Marge Simpson: I think that's terrible. A man opens his heart and you made fun of him.
- [Marge walks away to laugh at Flanders]
- Reverend Lovejoy: Hello, Ned.
- Ned Flanders: Reverend, sorry to bother you at this hour, but... I through a man out of my house today. I-I-I feel like I violated Matthew 19:19.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Huh?
- Ned Flanders: Love thy neighbor.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Oooh. Oh. The Matthew 19:19, yeah, right, right.
- Homer: 'Fraid not!
- Ned Flanders: 'Fraid so!
- Homer: 'Fraid not infinity!
- Ned Flanders: 'Fraid so infinity plus one!
- Homer: D'oh!
- Ned Flanders: [Flanders pours Homer a beer from a tap in his rumpus room] Here's a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland.
- Homer: Well, beggars can't be choosy.
- [Homer drinks some and let's out a loud belch]
- [browsing the card catalog]
- Lisa: Let's see, Golf... Anecdotes... Eisenhower and... Fashion... Humor... Japanese Obsession With... Ah, here it is: Putting.
- Lisa: [Looking at the library catalog for books about golf for Bart] Golf, golf... Anecdotes... Eisenhower and... Fashion... Humor... Japanese obsession with...