The Simpsons (TV Series)

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield (1996)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Squeaky-Voiced Teen

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : But Marge... valets! For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding "you're making a scene."

• Homer : What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

• [Homer and Mr. Burns are playing golf; Homer is in a sand trap] 

  Mr. Burns : For god sakes, man. Use an open-faced club. The sand wedge.

  Homer : Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich.

• Gate Guard : Name, please.

  Homer Simpson : Simpson family.

  Marge Simpson : We're not poor.

  [the whole family stares at her] 

  Marge Simpson : Well, we're not.

• Bart Simpson : That place is weird. A man in the bathroom kept handing me towels, until I paid him to stop.

  Homer Simpson : [holding a stack of towels]  Should have held out longer, boy!

• Homer Simpson : Good morning, Mr. Burns. Beautiful day to be outside, isn't it?

  Mr. Burns : Rant on, Simpson, but your vainglorious boasting will only add savor to my inevitable triumph.

  Homer Simpson : [pause]  Yes.

• Tom Kite : Now you don't want to overthink.

  Homer Simpson : Not a problem.

  Tom Kite : Keep your head down.

  Homer Simpson : Huh?

  Tom Kite : Pretend there's nobody else here and just go at your own pace.

  [the ball lands near the hole] 

  Tom Kite : Wow! Very impressive. You're a natural, Mr. Simpson.

  Homer Simpson : Really?

  Tom Kite : Uh huh. Now all you need is your *own* set of clubs

  [suddenly angry] 

  Tom Kite : ... and stay the hell out of my locker! You can keep the shoes!

• Homer : Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

• Mr. Burns : Use the open-faced club! The sandwedge!

  Homer Simpson : Mmm... open-faced club sandwich...