- Rhoda Morgenstern: Ok, Georgette, how are Mary and I a lot like Pittsburgh?
- Georgette Franklin: Pittsburgh, Rhoda, is the place where the Allegheny river and the Monongahela river meet to form the mighty Ohio river. Now separately the Monongahela and the Allegheny river are two little skinny rivers. But when they meet in Pittsburgh, well... well, Rhoda, all I can say is, you two love each other, you need each other.
- Georgette Franklin: But you two belong together. I won't say you're like peas in a pod, because I hate peas, Rhoda. And I won't say you're like sisters, because you're more than sisters. I'll just say Rhoda, I'll just say, that you, Rhoda and Mary, are a lot like Pittsburgh.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Ok, you be my best friend. Ok?
- Georgette Franklin: Oh, I don't think so Rhoda. I don't think I could handle a big responsibility like that. First I'd have to start with someone easier and then after I got some experience then maybe I could be your best friend. But right now I think I'm a little green for you Rhoda.
- Lou Grant: I can't tell a joke if you're gonna sit like that! A joke's gotta spring up on you! And it was a pretty good joke, too...
- Mary Richards: So, why don't you tell it.
- Lou Grant: What would happen if Billie Jean King married Bobby Riggs?
- Mary Richards: What would happen?
- Lou Grant: Her husband would be very upset! See, that's a good joke - it has something for both of us: it has women's lib for you and sports for me!
- Lou Grant: Mary, the reason I hired you had nothing to do with what was on your resume - I hired you because you were right for the job! And because, on the way into the interview, you bumped into a desk and said, "Excuse me."