- Rhoda Morgenstern: I was five years old before I knew my father could talk. You know the first thing he said? "Listen to your mother."
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Read the card on that gift. I guarantee you it will be something that makes me crazy.
- Mary Richards: [Opens the card] "No one in the world will ever love you as much as I do." That's lovely.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: To the naked eye it's lovely. But think about it, Mary. I'm thirty years old, right? And single. And no matter where I go or who I meet or how long I may live, no one will ever love me as much as she does. That's not a card - that's a curse!
- Rhoda Morgenstern: You're talking about Midwestern love. I'm talking about Bronx love. There's a certain amount of guilt that goes with that. My mother wants the people she loves to feel guilty.
- Mary Richards: Murray?
- Murray Slaughter: What?
- Mary Richards: What special are we doing?
- Murray Slaughter: It's called "Is Air Pollution Really So Bad?"
- Mary Richards: Tell me, what kind of a television station does a special favoring air pollution?
- Murray Slaughter: The one where the chairman of the board owns a smelting plant.