- Les Nessman: You wanted to see me?
- Arthur Carlson: Oh, uh, yes, of course we do, Les. Uh, look, would you just sit down right over here please, right here in the chair, 'cause Herb has something that he wants to tell you. C'mon Andy, let's go.
- Andy Travis: No, you and I should both stay.
- Arthur Carlson: Okay, uh, Herb, you uh, you tell him.
- Herb Tarlek: Les, Jennifer's a guy!
- Arthur Carlson, Andy Travis: [simultaneously] *What*?
- Jennifer Marlowe: [about Herb's recuperation] I saw Herb this morning.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: How is he?
- Jennifer Marlowe: Oh, he's a little doped up, but he'll be fine.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Same here.
- [last lines]
- Les Nessman: The doctor says that Herb can go home in a week.
- Jennifer Marlowe: I know, I saw him too.
- Les Nessman: Did he seem all right to you?
- Jennifer Marlowe: As well as can be expected.
- Les Nessman: Well, I think he must have hit that net head-first. He kept asking me the same question over and over again. This is pretty complicated, but he wanted to know: if a guy dates a girl who used to be a guy, but isn't anymore, what does that make the guy who dates the girl who used to be a guy?
- [Jennifer looks at Johnny]
- Dr. Johnny Fever: It's a toughy.
- Les Nessman: ...my reputation is still besmirched and sullied.
- Arthur Carlson: [yelling to the rest of the staff members] Dictionary!