WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Pilot: Part 1 (1978)

Jan Smithers: Bailey Quarters

Quotes 

• Johnny Caravella : [bleary-eyed, on the air, with no real interest:]  Okay, that was...

  [squints] 

  Johnny Caravella : Felix Mandell's orchestra with their beautiful version of the all-time favorite "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"

  [grimaces] 

  Johnny Caravella : I'm sure all you doughboys out there remember that one.

  [consults program schedule] 

  Johnny Caravella : And for some reason we'll be right back with more of your favorite recorded melodies...

  [prepares to play jingle] 

  Johnny Caravella : after this very important word from...

  [slams in cassette] 

  Johnny Caravella : Shady Hills... Cincinnati's finest restaurant.

  Shady Hills Commercial Voiceover : [graveyard voice]  Many people ask this age-old question: What happens when I can no longer feed myself?

  [Johnny apparently fell asleep] 

  Bailey Quarters : [enters broadcast booth]  Hi, Johnny.

  Johnny Caravella : [helpless old man's voice]  Bailey, have you come to feed me?

  Bailey Quarters : No, but here are today's new commercials.

  [hands over cassettes] 

  Johnny Caravella : Uh-huh.

  [takes them] 

  Bailey Quarters : Do you mind if I watch you work?

  Johnny Caravella : Not at all. Listen, uh, what's the weather like out there?

  Bailey Quarters : Ah, it's raining.

  Johnny Caravella : Excuse me a minute.

  [grabs mic] 

  Shady Hills Commercial Voiceover : [but before Johnny can say anything:]  So call Shady Hills today. Remember *there just might not be... * a tomorrow.

  Johnny Caravella : [nods]  And on that happy note, let's take a look at the weather. We have reports that it's coming down in *buckets* out there...

  [Bailey tries to silence him] 

  Johnny Caravella : in other parts of the city. However, experts are predicting that sunny skies will return by noon...

  Bailey Quarters : [whispers]  No...!

  Johnny Caravella : ... But not here. So, people on your way to work, you might want to take an umbrella. Or you might not.

  [grins at Bailey] 

  Johnny Caravella : You're listening to the Johnny...

  [grabs mug to check] 

  Johnny Caravella : Caravella Show on WKRP in Cincinnati. And now it's time to listen to one of my personal favorites, it's the...

  [hurriedly checks album cover] 

  Johnny Caravella : Hallelujah Tabernacle Choir with their beautiful rendition of "You're Having My Baby"...