Wings (TV Series)

Is That a 10 Foot Sandwich or Are You Just Glad to See Me? (1994)

David Schramm: Roy Biggins

Quotes 

• Roy Biggins : Hey Roy. You know, I really appreciate you letting me off early yesterday. My stomach's feeling much better now. That's the last time I store the brake fluid next to the Dr. Pepper.

  Lowell Mather : Well, the important thing is... you've stopped convulsing.

• Lowell Mather : Okay, wait 'til you hear this story. Alright, remember my friend Merle? Well, he went out cod fishing the other day and he reeled in a fifty-pounder. He gets it back to the beach, cuts that baby open... What do you think falls out?

  Roy Biggins : The mug?

  Lowell Mather : No, a license plate from 1929. So he takes it home, he tells his wife about it, she doesn't believe him. They have a huge fight, Merle storms out, he's walking down the beach... Guess what he tripped over?

  Roy Biggins : The mug?

  Lowell Mather : No, a big ol' piece of driftwood. He falls down, gashes his head, he has to go to the hospital, get thirty stitches, his wife comes to comfort him, you know... What do you think she brings him?

  [Roy points expectantly at the mug] 

  Lowell Mather : No, flowers.

  Roy Biggins : Mather, where the hell'd you find the mug?

  Lowell Mather : I saw your pilot, Bob, getting on a flight with it, and I said, "Hey, wait a second, Bob, that's Roy's mug." But isn't that something about Merle?

• Lowell Mather : Listen, I'm not much good with words, so... here.

  Roy Biggins : [Lowell hands Roy a box. Roy opens it]  What the hell is this?

  Lowell Mather : [Lowell holds up a coffee mug with his own face on it]  Well, it's a mug... with my mug. Hey, whaddya know? I guess I am pretty good with words.

• Brian Michael Hackett : Okay listen: We are throwing a surprise engagement party for Joe and Helen. And you're all invited.

  Casey Chapel Davenport : It's at the Harbor House tonight. We'll meet you in the lobby at 7:30.

  Roy Biggins : Well it's a little last minute, but... it's a party, and who am I to pass up a Big Sandwich? How many feet you go for? Eight feet?

  Lowell Mather : No, this is Joe and Helen. It's gotta be the ten footer.

  Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : Remember that TWELVE footer they served at Ed Petersen's wake?

  Roy Biggins , Lowell Mather : Ah, yeah.

  Brian Michael Hackett : Brace yourself, guys. Um... We're not having a Big Sandwich.

  Lowell Mather : [hurt]  Excuse me... It almost sounded like you said there'd be no Big Sandwich.

  Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : Aw, everyone LOVES the Big Sandwich.

  Roy Biggins : A party without a Big Sandwich? It's-it's-it's-it's-it's just not done.

• Casey Chapel Davenport : Great, I've gone from heading up charity fundraisers to bringing up the rear of a giant hoagie!

  Brian Michael Hackett , Roy Biggins , Lowell Mather , Antonio Scarpacci , Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : [In unison]  BIG SANDWICH!