- Herman Munster: Look, there's somerhing written on the wall. Eh, you'd better look first, it might be a naughty word.
- Herman Munster: Somewhere over the rainbow, there's a bluebird of happiness waiting for the Robert E. Lee.
- The Raven: Come and get 'em, Lily!
- Grandpa: I once heard that this house was built on top of an old fort. And this must have been the dungeon for prisoners. Hm!
- Lily Munster: Your Uncle Herman just isn't the lucky type. Like that time a few years ago, we won those cruise tickets on the Titanic, at the last minute he couldn't get time off from work.
- Grandpa: Are you calling me a freeloader?
- Herman Munster: No. I'm calling you a bum.
- Grandpa: If you call me a bum I'll throw you down and walk all over you!
- Herman Munster: You do, and I'll get you for trespassing!
- Grandpa: Herman! It's a genuine treasure map!
- Herman Munster: How do you know?
- Grandpa: Because everything is spelled wrong!