The Real Ghostbusters (TV Series)

Night Game (1987)

Maurice LaMarche: Dr. Egon Spengler, Umpire

Quotes 

• Winston Zeddemore : Oh come on, an afternoon at the ballpark will do you some good!

  Janine Melnitz : Yeah, like fungus on the brain would do me good.

  Egon Spengler : [walking down the stairs carrying a stack of books]  Did somebody mention fungus?

  Janine Melnitz : [hits her desk with both fists]  No, Egon...

• Peter : Excuse me, Umpire, just a sec.

  Umpire : You disagree with my call?

  Peter : Oh no, good call, 'you're out', concise. We just wanted to point out, seeing as how you're new to this game, that evil just cheated.

  Ray Stantz : Full tilt, flat out, no doubt about it.

  Egon Spengler : Doesn't that call for a forfeiture of the game?

  Umpire : You mean declare evil the losers for cheating?

  Peter : Yeah, that's the basic idea.

  Umpire : But evil cheats. That's its nature. It does whatever unscrupulous or immoral thing it has to, to win. That's why we call them evil. Only good is not allowed to cheat. If good adopts the ways of evil, it becomes evil. So if good cheats, evil automatically wins. Got it? Play ball!

• Egon Spengler : It was a test, wasn't it?

  Umpire : I told you no one can be neutral. You had to choose. Would you cheat for your friend, or would you trust in fair play and let good win on its own terms? Perhaps we'll meet again some day

  [vanishes mysteriously and the baseball stadium returns to normal] 

  Egon Spengler : You know, I wish I'd been able to study that umpire a little more closely, gotten a few more readings.

  Peter : [looking at Winston]  We saved our buddy here. Isn't that enough?

  Winston : [confused]  What?

  Ray Stantz : We knew all along that it was your soul being played for, Winston.

  Winston : Oh no, you got it wrong. It was your soul we were playing for, Peter. That's why they let me play.

  Peter : You mean I almost... Then if I'd cheated it would have been my...

  [drops to the floor] 

  Winston : Peter, are you all right?

  Peter : That does it! From now on I only go to Mets games!