- Peter Scottson: Checking for monsters?
- Nancy Botwin: What? Oh, no. I can't find my shoe... sandal, it's a sandal.
- Peter Scottson: So I'm guessing no breakfast
- Nancy Botwin: No, I'm not really a breakfast person. I have to have coffee in the morning, but after that I'm good till lunch, usually. Sometimes I have a bagel arround 10:30.
- Silas Botwin: You didn't tell me she couldn't sleep over. C'mon, Nancy.
- Nancy Botwin: [irritated] Stop calling me Nancy! My name is *Mom*. Or 'Mommy Dearest'...
- Celia Hodes: So what about "Celia Hodes: It's Time For Change."
- Pam: And then we show a big clock, and like instead of numbers, there are nickels and dimes and quarters. Get it? "Time for change." Isn't that cute?
- Celia Hodes: Yeah, that's retarded.
- Pam: That is not very nice. I have a nephew who's retarded and he has to wear a helmet.
- Sanjay: [leaving a message] Uh, Nancy. Hi, it's Sanjay. I thought you might wanna know that the bakery... is on fire. Okay. Bye.
- Celia Hodes: No-no-no-no no, no, that's grownup juice, not for you.
- Isabelle Hodes: When can *I* have some grownup juice?
- Celia Hodes: When you have a daughter who drives you to it.