- Jon Arbuckle: Pick a card.
- [Garfield grabs a card]
- Jon Arbuckle: Your card is the three of clubs.
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Uh, I mean the five of spades.
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: The jack of hearts?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: The eight of clubs?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Six of spades?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Nine of diamonds?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Ten of diamonds?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Any diamonds?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: It's a red card!
- Garfield: No.
- [time passes and it becomes dark]
- Jon Arbuckle: Seven of clubs?
- Garfield: No.
- Jon Arbuckle: Three of clubs? No, I said three of clubs. Five of spades? No, I... Uh, I give up. What's the card?
- Garfield: [puts down a book he was reading and reads card] "This deck is guaranteed by the manufacturer to be free from defects."
- Jon Arbuckle: I've been asked to do my magic act at the Children's Hospital Saturday.
- Garfield: Don't those kids already have enough problems?