Garfield and Friends (TV Series)

Weighty Problem/U.S. Acres: The Worm Turns/Good Cat, Bad Cat (1988)

Thom Huge: Jon Arbuckle, Roy Rooster

Quotes 

• Jon Arbuckle : Oh, Garfield, try *not* to annoy the mailman today.

  Garfield : [looking at calendar]  Today's the day I annoy the *garbage* man. The mailman is tomorrow.

• Jon Arbuckle : [singing]  Here's my dumbbell.

  Garfield : [singing; pointing to Jon]  Here's *my* dumbbell.

  Jon Arbuckle : Here's my little rope.

  Garfield : Here's my little dope.

  Jon Arbuckle : What's wrong with a little exercise?

  Garfield : What's wrong with a little extra size?

  Jon Arbuckle : Maybe there's still hope.

  Garfield : Nope.

  Jon Arbuckle : Let's turn the place into a gym.

  Garfield : I think there's something seriously wrong with him.

  Jon Arbuckle : Workout! Workout! That's what it's gonna take.

  Garfield : Cookout! Cookout! How about a great big steak?

  Jon Arbuckle : The road to health is paved with good intentions.

  Garfield : The road to the kitchen can lead to new dimensions.

  Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, we're gonna get in shape!

  Garfield : Fat chance! Oh, yeah!

• Jon Arbuckle : Okay, let's see how much I lost.

  [Jon steps on the scale] 

  The Scale : You are the correct weight for your height. Your fortune is you will punish your cat for tampering with the scale earlier.

  [Jon glares at Garfield] 

  Garfield : Ratfink scale!

  [furious, Jon chases Garfield as the scale narrates] 

  The Scale : You will chase your cat around the living room. He will slip on the throw rug. He will swing on the chandelier, crash into the wall.

  Garfield : Boy, are those things ever accurate.

  The Scale : [continues]  You will chase him out the front door. You will chase him down the block. And they lived heavily ever after. Ahem. The End. End. End. End.

• [Garfield is getting exhausted from jogging] 

  Jon Arbuckle : All right, all right. We'll rest.

  [Garfield collapses] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, we're still in front of our house.

  Garfield : Yeah, but it's a looong driveway.

• Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, I'm going to go workout.

  Garfield : Good.

  Jon Arbuckle : And you're going to workout with me.

  Garfield : Bad.

• Jon Arbuckle : I think we should head west.

  Garfield : No, I think we should go east.

  Jon Arbuckle : Oh, no. You just want to go that way because it's shorter.

  [Jon runs off and falls down a manhole] 

  Garfield : No, I wanted to go that way because there's no open manhole.