- Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: Lesson one: Get your own Work Monkey! Mine is named Hank Hill. You can name yours whatever you want!
- Buck Strickland: Last night, I was out with one of my lady friends and the bartender asked me what my granddaughter wanted to drink. They used to ask what my daughter wanted.
- Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: Is it too much to ask that when I walk by, people say "Look at that lucky bastard. I hate him."