- [Lily and Oliver have 2 Hannahs and they don't know which is Miley or Luann]
- Oliver Oken: I've got it. Both of you kiss me.
- Luann: Okay.
- Miley Stewart: Ewww.
- Oliver Oken: [pointing to second Hannah] That's Miley.
- Mr. Dontzig: Ooh, I'm shaking now!
- Robbie Stewart: Well take it outside, Dontzig. I don't have earthquake insurance!
- Robbie Stewart: These decorations are meant to scare six year olds it is not like we're going to find something that scares us,
- [Mr. Dontzig walks in]
- Robbie Stewart: AHH!
- Mr. Dontzig: Stewart someone shoved your magazines through my mailslot.
- Robbie Stewart: That would be the mailman
- Mr. Dontzig: What's with the Halloween decorations, or should I Halloweeny decoration, your winking santa was scarier than this. I was hoping that this year you would be a little compeition for me, but i was wrong.
- Jackson Stewart: Dad are you going to get away with that.
- Robbie Stewart: Don't worry about it son it is the holiday we are'nt going to get sucked into his little game.
- Mr. Dontzig: Said the loser
- Robbie Stewart: Don't go challenging me Dontzig.
- Mr. Dontzig: Ooh, I'm a shakin'
- Robbie Stewart: Well take it outside I don't have earthquake insurance.
- Mr. Dontzig: Save the jokes Goldilocks, you are going to need a sense of humor when all the kids see how unscary your house is, and they start pelting it with eggs. HAAA!
- Miley Stewart: [after her dad found out about Luanne's plan] And what has all this taught you?
- Robbie Stewart: That parents should believe their kids when they tell them their cousins are evil.
- Miley Stewart: And?
- Robbie Stewart: That I should always take my cell phone when I leave the house in case my daughtor gets tied up in her closet.
- Miley Stewart: And?
- Robbie Stewart: I'm sorry.
- Lilly Truscott: [about Luanne] She seems nice.
- Miley Stewart: Yeah, and a Venus Fly Trap seems like a pretty plant... until it throws you down a well.
- Luann: [opening Miley's closet to reveal Miley hogtied] Miley, Miley, Miley! I can't believe you didn't see this comin'!
- [Miley struggles to untie herself]
- Luann: Maybe if you hadn't gone to singing class and gone to rodeo camp with the rest of us, you wouldn't be stuck in this situation. What's that? You want me to sing at the party?
- [horribly off key]
- Luann: YOU DONE GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! Horrible, ain't it. That will do wonders for your carrer. Happy Halloween, cuz!
- [she laughs and walks out of the room, as Miley continues to try to free herself]
- Miley Stewart: Look, there's a big Hollywood Halloween party tonight, and I'd love for you to come.
- Luanne Stewart: Aww! You really want me to come with you-uns?
- Miley Stewart: Yeah. I really want you to come with... me-uns.
- Lilly Truscott: Throughout this party, you've been acting and talking like... OH MY GOSH,YOU'RE LUANNE!
- Luann: What took you so long, Lulu?
- Lilly Truscott: It's Lola!
- Luann: Lilly, Lulu, Lola. Whatever.
- Oliver Oken: Wow. When my goldfish died, my mom flushed it down the toilet. And I'll never forget her comforting words... Oliver, just get over it. It's just a stinkin' fish.
- Robbie Stewart: Sometimes people do things without thinkin' 'bout them first!
- Oliver Oken: [a fly flies near his pie then he swats it and the pie goes over his shirt then he wipes it] Stupid fly.
- [eats pie while the fly is still on it]
- Robbie Stewart: I didn't plan that but there you go!
- Miley Stewart: [calling Oliver after getting herself untied because Luanne tied her up] Oliver, I need your mom to drive me to a Halloween party NOW.
- [Oliver responds]
- Miley Stewart: Yes, you can come.