Garfield and Friends (TV Series)

Attention Getting Garfield/U.S. Acres: Swine Trek/It Must Be True! (1989)

Lorenzo Music: Garfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• [while Odie is admired and complimented by folks outside] 

  Garfield : It figures. Dumb people like dumb animals.

• Jon Arbuckle : [brings a bowl of food]  I have a special treat for someone.

  Garfield : Special treat? I hope it's lasagna or chocolate, chocolate chip ice cream or maybe both mixed together.

  Jon Arbuckle : [places the bowl down on the floor]  Here you go, fella.

  Garfield : Aw, Jon's always been so nice to me. So caring, so thoughtful.

  [Odie comes and begins eating the food in the bowl, and Jon walks off] 

  Garfield : [to Odie]  I hope your teeth fall out the day before Thanksgiving.

• Garfield : [walks past Floyd]  Hi, Floyd. Haven't seen you on the show this season.

  [Floyd is busy setting up his house and doesn't notice Garfield] 

  Garfield : I said, "Hi, Floyd"!

  Floyd Mouse : [startled]  Yipes! Oh, hiya, Garfield.

  Garfield : Even mice don't notice me.

  Floyd Mouse : Hey, how's Odie these days?

  Garfield : How's Odie? Why don't you ask how I am? Nobody pays attention to me!

• Garfield : This is one of those days when it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Maybe even one of those weeks.

• Floyd Mouse : Some people like dogs.

  Garfield : A lesser cat would feel threatened by Odie's popularity, but I'm too big to let it bother me. Besides, my favorite show's on.

  [Garfield turns on the TV] 

  Announcer : [on TV]  Ladies and gentlemen, Odie and Friends!

  Garfield : ODIE and Friends?

  [to Floyd] 

  Garfield : We are very close to the end of civilization as we know it.

• Garfield : Remember, audience, if you heard it on television...

  Audience : It must be true!

• Garfield : Here's our first incredible revelation, there's no such place as Wyoming.

  [the audience gasps and express their disbelief] 

  Garfield : Think about it. Have you ever met anyone from Wyoming?

  [the audience mutter to themselves, confirming they haven't] 

  Garfield : Well, there you are.

• Garfield : You know how they make raisins? Don't believe that story about sun-dried grapes. Actually, they shrink down bowling balls.

• Garfield : Remember, you can believe everything you ever hear anyone say on TV. No one on TV ever lies.

• Garfield : For our last item tonight, an incredible but true fact about dogs. Dogs have no brains.

  [shows an x-ray of Odie] 

  Garfield : Observe this x-ray. See? Nothing, nada, empty. The lights are on, but nobody's home.

  [Odie whimpers as Garfield removes the x-ray] 

  Garfield : Remember that, folks. Dogs have no brains. If we say it on television, it must be true.

  [Garfield hears barking and growling, then is shocked to see that the audience is filled with many dogs, all whom are furious about his remark] 

  Garfield : Uh, no brains... and they... and they never harm cats.

  [terrified, Garfield flees] 

  Garfield : Because cats are poisonous! Chomp a cat and you die!

  [the dogs chase Garfield into a stage room and the door closes] 

  Garfield : All cats know karate!

  [the dogs start beating up on Garfield] 

  Garfield : Dogs love cats! It's true!

  [the dogs continue beating Garfield] 

  Garfield : Help!

  [the thrashing stops, the door opens, and a bruised Garfield walks out] 

  Garfield : I will never lie again.

  [Garfield collapses] 

  Announcer : That's right. He will never lie again. And remember, if they said it on television, it must be...

  Garfield : Oh, shut up.