The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

Jean Reno: Ponton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And she does not think she is pretty... And I can never tell her that she is pretty, otherwise...

  Ponton : Otherwise, what?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : If she knew how pretty she is, she might choose someone other than me.

• Pepperidge : Gentlemen, we first have to determine how the crime was committed. And as I am an expert at deduction...

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : You are an expert at deduction?

  Pepperidge : That is my field.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : I believe deduction is my field, and since you are experiencing hip pain...

  Pepperidge : How did you know that?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : One side of the sole of your shoe is more worn than the other; you're favoring your right leg.

  Pepperidge : Tell me, did you enjoy your double espresso this morning?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : How did you...

  Pepperidge : Your pupils are noticeably dilated.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And will you be moving out of the Hotel Montmartre? They are doing construction at night around the Montmartre so as not to disturb daytime traffic. From your puffy eyes, I deduce you spent a sleepless night.

  Pepperidge : Speaking of traffic, are you enjoying your Smart car? Your trousers are wrinkled behind the knees.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And how do you think your favorite football team, Arsenal, will do this year? That matchbox is from the only bar in Paris that shows English football telecasts.

  Pepperidge : You have tissues in your shoes to make you look taller.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : You were finally 14 before you finally learned to enjoy avocado.

  Pepperidge : Tell me, how did you enjoy your trip to the airport this morning?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Now, how did you know that?

  [the airport stamp on Clouseau's hand is visible to everyone] 

  Ponton : Perhaps one of you should begin.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Yes, this is silly.

  Pepperidge : You've recently lost your favorite cheese grater.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : You have an aversion to cow bells!

  Vicenzo : Stop the insanity and look at this:

  [Vincenzo picks up a piece of broken glass] 

  Vicenzo : Il Tornado is not as careful as he thinks.

• Insp. Jacques Clouseau : You are under arrest!

  Sonia : Let me go, or I will destroy it.

  [Sonia takes what she believes to be the Pink Panther from her purse, and draws a gun] 

  Dreyfus : Let her go.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Let her do it.

  Dreyfus : [shocked]  Are you insane?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Sonia tosses what appears to be the Pink Panther into the air, shooting it into millions of fragments; she attempts to run into a hallway, only for Ponton to hit her face with a metal serving tray]  Good work, Ponton.

  Ponton : Thank you.

  Dreyfus : You moron! You twerp! You sad excuse for a human being! You have just destroyed the sacred symbol of France!

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Ponton, did you bring what I asked for? Boys...

  [Louis and Antoine bring a small jewelry case] 

  Louis : Here it is, Uncle Jacques.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Yes, yes.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : I knew the Tornado would eventually come after the Pink Panther, so I went to the museé with a simple plan in mind. I had convinced my old friend, Robert the night guard, to turn off the security system for the few moments necessary to save the most beautiful object in France. I then switched the Pink Panther with the replica I had at home.

  [Clouseau takes the real Pink Panther from the case] 

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : This is the real Pink Panther. It was the fake that was stolen.

  Dreyfus : [to himself]  Nightmare, nightmare.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And when the Tornado, an expert on the quality of gems, wrote in his supposed suicide note of its great beauty, I knew he could never have been the thief; he would have recognized it as a fake.

  Vicenzo : How did you figure out it was Sonia?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : It was because I spent the last 17 months on parking duty.

  Dreyfus : What?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Today I was staring at Miss Solandres' license plate. I recognized it because of my... unique system of cross-referencing. I became aware that I had given a parking ticket to the same car, two days before Miss Solandres claimed she arrived in Paris... one day before the Pink Panther was stolen.

  [the guests applaud Clouseau, who has just thwarted Sonia Solandres] 

  Dreyfus : You followed my instructions very well, Clouseau. It was I, of course, who put Clouseau onto the parking ticket assignment. Isn't that so, Inspector?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No.

  [Clouseau winks at Chief Inspector Dreyfus, who instructed him to deny any knowledge of the assignment] 

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And at Avellaneda's mansion, when I sensed the presence of the Tornado, he was there, all right. But it was not a he, it was a she!

  [the guests and the Dream Team applaud Clouseau's success] 

• Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [at Charles de Gaulle Airport]  What's the matter, Ponton? You seem a little... depressed today. Is it your wife again?

  Ponton : Yes. She still feels my job takes up too much of my time.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Ah, the same old thing.

  Ponton : Next week is our tenth anniversary. She thinks we should go away together.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Oh Ponton, would you like me to talk with her?

  Ponton : Uh, no - I mean, this issue must be discussed between husband and wife.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Well, you must explain to her that we are men of the law, always living in the shadows. Ow!

  [the passport official stamps Clouseau's hand instead of the passport] 

  Ponton : [to the passport stamper]  Idiot.

  Ponton : I will miss you, Inspector.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : I will miss you too, Ponton. Oh, and Ponton...

  Ponton : Yes?

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau speaks out loud enough for the other travelers to hear]  I am sorry you can't satisfy your wife.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau reads the sign]  'I am now leaving France'. This is a bad idea.

  Christiane Amanpour : [as soon as Clouseau crosses the "You are now leaving France" line, a breaking news bulletin appears on TV]  The legendary Pink Panther diamond has been stolen. Officials suspect the perpetrator is the infamous Il Tornado.

  Insp. Jacques Clouseau : What'd I tell you?