It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad (2006)
Charlie Day: Charlie Kelly
Photos
Quotes
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Frank Reynolds : [looking for someone via MySpace so he can kill him] Shit! He hasn't accepted my friend request!
Charlie Kelly : Relax, Frank. Sometimes it takes a while.
Frank Reynolds : It's been days! I have no friends!
Charlie Kelly : Would you stop saying that? You have friends.
Frank Reynolds : Yeah, I got you, I got this guy, Tom, and this crazy lady who claims we had a one-night-stand 30 years ago.
Charlie Kelly : Yeah, but Tom doesn't really count. He sort of comes with it.
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Mac : Charlie, this is our opportunity to prove to people that we are to be respected. No one is more respected than dudes in prison right?
Charlie Kelly : Yeah.
Mac : And what are dudes in prison?
Charlie Kelly : Hard?
Mac : Right; this is our chance to get hard.
Charlie Kelly : OK OK i just don't know if this is the best way to get hard.
Mac : Of course it is, this is totally hard. Look you want to get hard don't you?
Charlie Kelly : I want to get hard. I want to get very very hard.
Mac : Alright, do you want to shove heroin into your ass?
Charlie Kelly : Dude I don't want to shove anything in my ass.
Mac : Alright this is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are and not have to shove anything into our asses.
Frank Reynolds : What in Gods name are you two talking about?
Mac : Frank we're in.
Frank Reynolds : Great!
[Fires Gun]
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Charlie Kelly : Oh, this is such bullshit. So you guys have two dads and I don't even have one!
Mac : Yeah, that is bullshit, we don't even have one.
Charlie Kelly : What are you talking about? You have a father!
Mac : Yeah, but he's in prison, Charlie, and he's been there my whole life. It doesn't count.
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Mac : Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?
Charlie Kelly : Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!
Mac : All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!