- Cindy Brady: How would you like to eat your teeth?
- Bobby Brady: How would you like to sit on a frog?
- Carol Brady: My babies, they're so close.
- [a "Now Serving #27" sign descends from the ceiling]
- Carol Brady: With eight Bradys, this is the only fair way to decide who eats first, who talks first or who gets the bathroom.
- Jan Brady: Mother, how could you? Now everybody knows!
- Bobby Brady: My sister Jan doesn't want anyone to know we even have a bathroom.
- Greg Brady: You know, actually in our old house, we didn't.