Andy Barker, P.I. (TV Series)
The Lady Varnishes (2007)
Harve Presnell: Lew Staziak
Quotes
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Simon : [Lew and Andy are off on another case] Alright it's go time! I'll get in back.
Lew Staziak : Actually it's stay time.
[drives off]
Simon : [shouting] You win this round, Lew Staziac, but when vengeance strikes, it will be swift -
[is hit in the head by humus from a humus gun]
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Andy Barker : We go to San Diego. My kids are crazy about Sea World.
Lew Staziak : They wouldn't be if they knew what was burried under Shamu's tank.
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Andy Barker : You said in your letter that you had been framed for the murder.
Rita Spaulding : That's right, couldn't have done that. I was in the Brown Derby at the time.
Andy Barker : Well, that ought to be fairly easy to prove.
Rita Spaulding : Well, whoever framed me got everybody to done me up.
Andy Barker : So no one saw you going in?
Rita Spaulding : No, I was with a married guy. We went in the back door.
Lew Staziak : [standing in doorframe] We did that a few times, didn't we doll?
Rita Spaulding : Well Lew Staziak as I live and breathe. Actually, I was talking about going in the back door of the Brown Derby.
Lew Staziak : So was I.
Rita Spaulding : No, I mean the back door of the restaurant.
Lew Staziak : Oh. I didn't go there.
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Andy Barker : Eh, Lew what are you doing here?
Lew Staziak : I realized I couldn't let you alone with this one. She'd fill your head with lies and your pants with hands.
Rita Spaulding : Still got two of those.
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Lew Staziak : You ever had your heart broke by a one legged lady?
Bartender : Change lady to dude, and yeah.
Lew Staziak : You gay?
Bartender : Yeah. This is a gay bar.
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Lew Staziak : Hey, you said you had a visit from Micky. You sure it was him?
Andy Barker : I got a video of him with my phone.
Lew Staziak : Yeah, and I just flew over here on my toaster.
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Lew Staziak : So how's your wine, Sweetheart?
Rita Spaulding : Well, it's better than the stuff we used to make in my toilet.
Jenny Barker : You guys are adorable!