- The Thing: [putting his hand through Doctor Doom, who proves to be a hologram] Hey, what gives? I heard of guys losing weight, but this is ridiculous.
- Doctor Doom: So I wouldn't dare, would I? Well, my helpless friends, you soon shall see what Doctor Doom will dare.
- The Thing: I wonder who writes that cornball dialogue. Count Dracula?
- Opening Narrator: [opening lines] Latveria, land of mystery and menace. Within the grim, grey walls of the castle royal, dwells the most dangerous man in all the world, the merciless Doctor Doom. Now, as our incredible tale begins, the lord of Latveria issues a royal command.
- Doctor Doom: Prepair to launch my rocket.
- The Thing: [running to the elevator] Yahoo! We don't know where we're going, but we're on our way!
- H.E.R.B.I.E.: Wait for me! Wait for me! It's not polite to forget your faithful robot!
- Opening Narrator: Secret signals? H.E.R.B.I.E., it's just the finals of the world's fasted talking disc jockey contest.
- Reed Richards: If robots could blush, my face would be red.
- Reed Richards: I've never understood why humans squeeze each other's fingers, but I'm happy to oblige.
- Sue Richards: Reed, there's something we don't understand.
- Reed Richards: Yes, I expected you to say that.