Muppet Babies (TV Series)

Kermit Goes to Washington (1986)

Greg Berg: Fozzie, Scooter

Quotes 

• Kermit : Gosh, now that I'm president, what do I do?

  Gonzo : [looks at a book]  According to these pictures, you gotta go to Washington.

  Fozzie : You mean Kermit's gotta do his laundry?

  All : Fozzie!

  Fozzie : Sorry.

• [Gonzo imagines himself as ruler of the nursery and there are no rules] 

  Fozzie : Gosh, if there are no rules at all, then I can make up the rules of a good joke. Hmm. Aha, I know. Why did the potato go to Paris? Give up? To be a French fry. Wokka wokka wokka. Ha ha ha ha.

  [a crowd boos and throws French fries at Fozzie] 

  Fozzie : French fries? What happened to tomatoes?

  [a tomato is thrown at Fozzie] 

  Fozzie : Yeah. French fries are better with ketchup.

  Kermit : Gee, Fozzie, I guess rules or no rules, a bad joke is a bad joke.

• Scooter : Abraham Lincoln was president during the Civil War. He helped free the slaves and wrote the Gettysburg Address.

  Kermit : Um, what is the Gettysburg address?

  Statue of Abe Lincoln : Why, 227 Gettysburg Road, of course.

• Scooter : When I grow up, I'm going to run for Congress.

  Fozzie : Gee, it's a long way to Washington, Scooter. Maybe you better start running now.

• [the kids had finished placing their votes for the president of the nursery] 

  Skeeter : I'll count the votes. One for Piggy. Two for Piggy.

  Piggy : Oh, goody. I just know I'm gonna win.

  Skeeter : One for Kermit. Two for Kermit. Three for Kermit.

  Piggy : What? Hmph!

  Skeeter : It's two votes for Piggy and six for Kermit. Kermit won!

  [everyone cheers] 

  Kermit : Um, I-I voted for you, Piggy.

  Scooter : I wonder who the other person was.

  Piggy : Uh... Congratulations, Kermie! I am going to be your first lady, aren't I?

  Kermit : Oh, uh, uh, uh, sure, Piggy.