- Fozzie: This comedy business is tough stuff, Gonzo. M-Maybe I should choose an easier job like nuclear physics.
- Gonzo: [to Fozzie] Aw, don't worry about Piggy. She's got no sense of humor when it comes to stuffing her face.
- Piggy: [to Fozzie] And the next time you throw my cupcakes around, Mr. Comedian, I'll give you a double fudge face massage!
- [Gonzo had finished asking the other babies about Fozzie]
- Fozzie: Well, do they like me?
- Gonzo: Listen.
- Scooter: [on tape recorder] I'd take my computer over Fozzie any day.
- Fozzie: Oh, no!
- Gonzo: Heh, uh, well, uh...
- Piggy: [on tape recorder] Ooh! He's so annoying! Sometimes I wish he'd just go live in a tree!
- Fozzie: Huh?
- Rowlf: [on tape recorder] Enough to make a grown dog cry!
- Fozzie: Ow.
- Kermit: [on tape recorder] SOMETIMES HE MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM!
- Fozzie: Oh, no. Not Kermit, too.
- Gonzo: Yoohoo, Piggy.
- Piggy: [while blowing a balloon] What is it, Gonzo?
- Gonzo: Uh, I was just curious if Fozzie was sinking in quicksand and you had your prettiest dress on, would you jump in and save him?
- Piggy: WHAT?
- [accidentally lets all the air out of her balloon]
- Piggy: OOH! GET OUT OF HERE, YOU WEIRDO!
- Nanny: [after breaking up the kids' argument] Would someone mind telling me what this is all about?
- Fozzie: Well, uh, I was just trying to improve my jokes by recording them, and then Gonzo recorded everybody's reactions to my jokes, and then I played back the tape, and, uh, well, listen.
- [Gonzo plays the tape]
- Rowlf: [on tape recorder] Boy, talk about nerve!
- Kermit: [on tape recorder] He sure knows how to ruin a fun time.
- Piggy: [on tape recorder] Ooh! He's so annoying! Sometimes I wish he'd just go live in a tree!
- Piggy: Hey, wait a minute. I wasn't talking about you, Fozzie. I was talking about Gonzo!
- Kermit: So was I.
- Rowlf: Yeah, Gonzo kept bothering us.
- Skeeter: And forcing us to listen to Fozzie's jokes.
- Scooter: And asking dumb questions.
- Gonzo: But, Nanny, I was only trying to help Fozzie with his act.
- Fozzie: You mean I was mad at you for being mad at me, but you weren't mad at me, you were mad at Gonzo?
- Gonzo: Huh?
- Piggy: Yep, for being a jerk.
- Gonzo: Whoa!
- Nanny: Piggy, if you can't say something nice...
- Piggy: Don't say anything. I know.