- Dr. James Wilson: [House and Wilson are discussing Wilson's date with Cuddy the night before] Yes, I slept with her.
- Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
- Dr. James Wilson: No.
- Dr. Gregory House: [House looks him over] Yes you did!
- Dr. James Wilson: Yes... I did.
- Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
- Dr. James Wilson: No.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You're intentionally punishing us.
- Dr. Gregory House: By making you do your job? Does sound kinda cruel, doesn't it?
- Dr. Gregory House: You guys are idiots.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what you told us to do?
- Dr. Gregory House: No. Because you stayed up all night doing exactly what I told you to and have nothing to show for it.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: We've eliminated dozens of wrong answers.
- Dr. Gregory House: I asked you what two plus two equals and a day later you tell me not 25.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Deran about Lucy's condition] The ovaries produce sex hormones in response to a signal from the pituitary gland. Since we know the ovaries are fine the most likely cause...
- Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts her] Most likely means she wants to root around inside your little girl's brain without any guarantee that it will work. That's why she's holding off on doing your son.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Dr. House knows that unfortunately we've ruled out every other option. We need to resect Lucy's pituitary before...
- Dr. Gregory House: Who else visits these kids?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't have any family in town.
- Dr. Gregory House: You got a girlfriend?
- Deran: No one visits.
- Dr. Gregory House: School?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't go to the same school, House. I...
- Dr. Gregory House: Nanny?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't have one.
- Deran: They go to an after-school daycare, but none of the other kids are sick.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yet. It took your son twice as long to develop symptoms as your daughter. Maybe the other kids are just slow.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: We wait and your daughter may die.
- Dr. Gregory House: She does this, your daughter will need hormone replacement therapy for the rest of her life.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: The treatments are extremely effective. She should lead a relatively normal life.
- Dr. Gregory House: And isn't that every parent's dream, to have a kid grow up to be relatively normal.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: My husband died of thyroid cancer that metastasized to his brain. I've been there. I know how terrifying this can be. I am telling you this is your best chance to save your daughter's life.
- Dr. Gregory House: [whispers in Cameron's ear] You did not just play the dead husband card.
- [to Deran]
- Dr. Gregory House: My wife died because she signed a consent form that I didn't want her to sign. Died.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [about Lucy] She's being abused.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: A bloody t-shirt doesn't equal abuse. Kids get hurt all the time.
- Dr. Robert Chase: That amount of blood?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Oh, crap. You two are agreeing again.
- Dr. James Wilson: You! You! You! You were gonna let me do that?
- Dr. Gregory House: You made a compelling argument.
- Dr. James Wilson: You sent those flowers to me!
- Dr. Gregory House: Yes, because you took her to a play. And because actually you do wanna march down there and kiss her.
- Dr. James Wilson: No, I don't.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yes, you do.
- Dr. James Wilson: You're right.
- Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
- Dr. James Wilson: No. You're a jerk.
- Dr. Gregory House: Night, Wilson.
- Dr. James Wilson: Night, House.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're trying to have sex with Cuddy!
- Dr. James Wilson: [ignores House's comment] Fries?
- Dr. Gregory House: You took her to a play. You only take women to plays because...
- Dr. James Wilson: [cutting House off] No, you only take women to plays for that reason! That's your theory.
- Dr. Gregory House: Okay, then why did you take her to a play?
- Dr. James Wilson: She's a friend!
- Dr. Gregory House: Friend with a squish mitten?
- Dr. James Wilson: It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without...
- Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts] Blasphemer! She's not a friend of the opposite sex. She's a different species! She's an administrator. She's going to eat your head after she's done!
- Dr. Gregory House: [to little girl in the kindergarten classroom] Do you have hair in your special place?
- Dr. Gregory House: It's a play. Dudes only go to plays if they're dragged there by women they hope to see naked.
- Dr. Gregory House: Somebody better be dying.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Lucy's big brother's got a crush on me, so he bit the crap out of Chase.
- Dr. Gregory House: And I care because...?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Just thought you might want to know when one of your employees gets attacked by a sociopath.
- Dr. Gregory House: Bees or monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [about Lucy] Bacterial infection is more likely to turn constrictive. It could be TB.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Right. Forgot about the part where she did time in Russian gulag.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] What's up with Wilson?
- Dr. Gregory House: He's just a little freaked.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Why?
- Dr. Gregory House: I sent him flowers.
- [Cuddy looks confused]
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Chase] I didn't realize you were going to get hurt. I'm sorry I misled you.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You didn't. You have feelings for me. You come back to me again and again.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: For sex. It's a simple, physical...
- Dr. Robert Chase: Come on. You have feelings for puppies and patients that you barely know, but when it comes to a guy that you've worked with for three years?
- [takes Cameron's hand]
- Dr. Robert Chase: Had sex with, spent the night with. You're telling me you feel nothing? Absolutely nothing?
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Eddie] I'm going to ask you for some blood.
- Eddie: Why?
- Dr. Gregory House: To see if your answer will be, "I can't bleed in public."
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] Six-year-old abuse victim and you haven't called Social Services?
- Dr. Gregory House: She might have been abused. That's horrifying. Why are you wearing extra concealer under your eyes?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: The law's clear. You suspect abuse, you call the authorities. You don't proceed as usual while the possible abuser sits by her bedside.
- Dr. Gregory House: Dad consented to the exam which means it's not the dad. How late were you out last night?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's always the dad and I don't have a curfew.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [to Chase] You're an idiot. Either she's lying or she's actually emotionally detached. Which one sounds more like Cameron to you?
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Janie] No one runs out at lunch just to get a lip wax unless you woke up looking like Yosemite Sam.
- Janie: You're an ass.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don't get the whole May-December thing.
- Dr. Gregory House: Give him a break. It's May-October at worst.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, why can't it be October-October?
- Dr. Gregory House: May is when things start to get hot.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: That's ridiculous. If menstruation is a symptom of brain cancer then I should be on chemo right now.
- Dr. Gregory House: That's ridiculous. You're way too skinny to be menstruating.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [to Cameron] You're trying to make me jealous.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Yeah, I want you to profess your love for me. Oh wait, you already did that and it caused me to end our relationship.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: What's more likely? Brother and sister get the same type of tumour at exactly the same time or they both play in the same toxic sandbox?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Lucy while examining her] Before you came here, did anybody hurt you? Make you bleed? I need to look in your vagina now, do you understand? I'm a doctor so it's okay.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Restrictive pericarditis.
- Dr. Gregory House: Boring.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's in kindergarten.
- Dr. Gregory House: Less boring or Grandma's been held back a few years.