- Darkwing Duck: Frozen aliens and now vampires. Has everyone gone crazy?
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: But there is a vampire, only it's a potato and it's probably in those bushes right now!
- [Bushes rattle]
- Launchpad McQuack: AAH!
- [shivers]
- Darkwing Duck: Just the wind. Launchpad, go take a look.
- [Launchpad shakes his head in fear]
- Darkwing Duck: Get going!
- [Launchpad tiptoes to the bushes]
- [first lines]
- Scout: ...and then Big Webfoot spotted the light of a distant campfire. The hairy, hulking beast crept through the forest until he came to the clearing and...
- [Some trees rattle, scaring the scouts]
- Darkwing Duck: [emerging from his smoke] I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the moth that seeks your porch light...
- Scout: [annoyed] It's not Big Webfoot, it's just some jerk in a costume.
- Darkwing Duck: [approaching the campfire] Not just any jerk, I'm Darkwing Duck.
- Darkwing Duck: There are no vampire potatoes. Scientists who turn themselves into plants, yes. But vampire potatoes, that's ridiculous.
- [Launchpad is attacked by Posey out of Darkwing's notice]
- Drake Mallard: [after Gosalyn takes off with the Muddlefoots] Ha! Big Webfoot.
- [laughs]
- Drake Mallard: Well, at least I'll have some peace and quiet.
- [He turns on the TV]
- Tom Lockjaw: We interrupt your peace and quiet for a special news bulletin. The herbivorous mutant research scientist-turned-criminal has been sighted robbing Fabric King.
- Drake Mallard: [interested] What would a plant man want from a home shop?
- Dr. Reginald Bushroot: [excitedly] Never again will I be lonely. Never again will I be told, "I can't go out with you. You're just a shrub." I have found the way to obtain the perfect bride!
- [casually]
- Dr. Reginald Bushroot: I'm growing my own.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: How did you know how to stop that thing, Darkwing, huh?
- Darkwing Duck: Knowing from the beginning that we were dealing with a vampire potato, I did some research on local country legends.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [skeptical] You expect me to believe that?
- Darkwing Duck: [embarrassed] Okay, some crackpot named Duane told me.