Doctor Who (TV Series)
Utopia (2007)
Derek Jacobi: Professor Yana
Photos
Quotes
-
The Doctor : And Utopia is...?
Professor Yana : Oh, every human knows of Utopia. Where have you been?
The Doctor : Bit of a hermit.
Professor Yana : A-a hermit
[sounds doubtful]
Professor Yana : with, uh, friends?
The Doctor : Hermits United. We meet up every 10 years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.
-
The Professor : Did you never think, all those years standing beside me, to ask about that watch? Never? Did you never once think - not ever - that you could set me free?
Chantho : Chan-I'm sorry-tho! Chan-I'm so sorry...
The Professor : And you, with your chan and your tho driving me insane!
Chantho : Chan-Professor, please!
The Professor : THAT IS NOT MY NAME! "The Professor" was an invention. So perfect a disguise that I forgot who I am.
Chantho : Chan-Then who are you-tho?
The Master : I am... the Master.
-
The Professor : Killed by an insect. A girl. How inappropriate. Still, if The Doctor can be young and strong, then so can I. The Master reborn!
[he begins to regenerate]
-
Doctor : Prof. Yana, this new science is well beyond me. But all the same, a boost reversal circuit in any time frame must be a circuit which reverses the boost. So, I wonder, what would happen if I... did... this?
[uses sonic screwdriver on a cable, then pulls it apart. Sirens sound and lights flash in lab]
Chantho : Chan, it's working, tho!
Prof. Yana : But how did you do that?
Doctor : While we've been chatting away, I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.
-
The Doctor : It strikes me, Professor, that you've got a room that no one can enter without dying. Is that correct?
Prof. Yana : Yes.
The Doctor : Well...
[Jack comes back to life]
The Doctor : ...I think I've got just the man.
Captain Jack Harkness : Was someone kissing me?
-
The Doctor : That rocket's not going to fly, is it? This footprint mechanism thing. It's not working.
Professor Yana : We'll find a way.
The Doctor : You're stuck on this planet, and you haven't told them, have you? That lot out there, they still think they're going to fly.
Professor Yana : Well, it's better to let them live in hope.
The Doctor : Quite right too.
-
Martha : [lifting a Tank of water containing a hand out of Jack's bag and placing it on the tabetop] Oh, my, God! You've got a hand? A hand in a jar? A hand, in a jar, in your bag!
Doctor : Bu-tha-tha-that's *my* hand!
Jack : I said I had a Doctor Detector.
Chantho : Chan, is this a tradition amongst your people, tho?
Martha : Not on my street! What do you mean that's your hand? You've got both your hands! I can see them!
Doctor : Long story. I lost my hand, Christmas Day, in a sword fight.
[Flashback: The Sycorax Leader chops the Doctor's hand off]
Martha : What? And you... grew another hand?
Doctor : Um, yeah. I did, yeah.
[holds it up and waves it]
Doctor : Hello.
Professor Yana : [to the Doctor] Might I ask, what species are you?
Doctor : Time Lord. Last of. Heard of them? Legend or anything? Not even a myth? Blimey, the end of the Universe is a bit humbling.
Chantho : Chan, it is said that I am the last of my species too, tho.
Doctor : Sorry, what was your name?
Professor Yana : My assistant, and good friend Chantho. A survivor of the Malmooth, this was their planet Malcassairo, before we took refuge.
Doctor : The city outside, that was yours?
Chantho : Chan, the conglomeration died, tho.
Doctor : Conglomeration! That's what I said!
Jack : You're supposed to say, "sorry".
Doctor : Oh, yes.
[to Chantho]
Doctor : Sorry.
Chantho : Chan, most grateful, tho.
-
Martha Jones : The Doctor sort of travels through time and space and picks us up. God, I make us sound like stray dogs. Maybe we are.
Professor Yana : He travels in time?
Martha Jones : Don't ask me to explain it. That's a TARDIS, that box thing. The sportscar of time travel, he says.
[the word "TARDIS" echoes in Yana's head]
-
The Doctor : But if the universe is falling apart, then what does Utopia mean?
Professor Yana : [Professor Yana appears, looking pleased, looks between The Doctor and Jack. Then, pointing to Jack] The Doctor?
The Doctor : That's me.
Professor Yana : Ah! Good!
[excitedly grabs the Doctor's hand a runs down the corridor with him in tow]
Professor Yana : GOOD! Good! Good! Good, good, good, good! Good! Good!
The Doctor : [looks back at Jack and Martha] It's "good" apparently.
-
The Professor's watch : The drums, the drums, the drums, the never-ending drumbeat. Open me, you human fool. Open the light and summon me, receive my majesty!
-
Professor Yana : Time and time and time again, always running out on me.
Martha Jones : [looking at his watch nervously] Can I have a look at that?
Professor Yana : Oh, it's only an old relic. Like me.
Martha Jones : Where did you get it?
Professor Yana : I was found with it.
Martha Jones : What do you mean?
Professor Yana : An orphan in the storm. I was a naked child found on the coast of the Silver Devestation. Abandoned with only this.
Martha Jones : Have you ever opened it?
Professor Yana : Why would I? It's broken.
Martha Jones : How do you know it's broken if you've never opened it?
Professor Yana : It's stuck. It's old. It's not meant to be. I don't know.
[Martha turns the watch over. The same alien writing as the Doctor's is on it]
Professor Yana : [suspiciously] Does it matter?
Martha Jones : No... it's... nothing. Listen, everything's fine up here. I'm going to see if The Doctor needs me.
[runs out in a panic]
-
The Doctor : I'm a bit of a hermit really.
The Professor : A hermit with friends?
The Doctor : Mmm. Hermits United. We get together every 10 years and swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.
-
[Yana glances at the surface scanner]
Professor Yana : Movement on the surface. Another "human hunt". God help him.
Chantho : Chan-should I alert the guards-tho?
Professor Yana : No, no, we can't spare them. Old beggar's on his own. One more lost soul... dreaming of Utopia.
Chantho : Chan-you mustn't talk as if you've given up-tho.
Professor Yana : No, no, indeed. Here's to it - Utopia.
[Yana sips his coffee, looking a little disgusted at the taste]
Professor Yana : Where it is to be hoped the coffee is a little less sour. Will you join me?
Chantho : Chan-I am happy drinking my own internal milk-tho.
Professor Yana : Yes, well... that's quite enough information, thank you.
-
The Doctor : You've built this system out of food and string and staples. Professor Yana, you're a genius.
Prof. Yana : Says than man who made it work.
The Doctor : Aah, it's easy, coming in at the end. But you're stellar, this is, this is magnificent!
-
Professor Yana : It's just a headache. It's just this noise inside my head, Doctor. Constant noise inside my head.
The Doctor : What sort of noise?
Professor Yana : It's the sound of drums. More and more, as though it's getting closer.
The Doctor : When did it start?
Professor Yana : I've had it all my life, every waking hour. Still, no rest for the wicked.
-
Professor Yana : The call came from across the stars, over and over again. 'Come to Utopia'. Originating from that point.
The Doctor : Where is that?
Professor Yana : Oh, it's far beyond the condensed wilderness, out towards the wildlands and the dark matter reefs, calling us in. The last of the humans scattered across the night.
The Doctor : What do you think's out there?
Professor Yana : We can't know. A colony? A city? Some sort of haven? The science foundation created the Utopia project thousands of years ago to preserve mankind, to find a way of surviving beyond the collapse of reality itself. Perhaps they found it. Perhaps not, but it's worth a look, don't you think?
The Doctor : Oh yes.
-
[the Professor throws a switch, locking the Doctor and others out]
Chantho : Chan- But you've locked them in- Tho.
The Professor : Not to worry my dear. As one door closes another must open.
[he throws another, letting the Futurekind into the silo]
-
Captain Jack Harkness : So what are those things outside? The Beastie boys, what are they?
Professor Yana : We call them the Futurekind. Which is a myth in itself. But it's feared they are what we will become unless we reach Utopia.
-
Professor Yana : [weeping] It's time travel...! They say there was time travel, back in the old days... I never *believed!*... but what would I know... stupid old man... never could keep time... always late, always lost...
[pulls out fobwatch]
Professor Yana : Even this thing... never worked.
-
Professor Yana : Even my title is an affectation. There hasn't been such a thing as a university for over a thousand years. I've spent my life going from one refugee ship to another.
The Doctor : If you'd been born in a different time, you'd be revered. I mean it. Throughout the galaxies.
Professor Yana : Oh, those damn galaxies. They had to go and collapse. Some admiration would have been nice. Just a little, just once.
The Doctor : Well, you have it now. That footprint engine thing, you can't activate it from onboard. It's got to be done from here. You're staying behind.
Professor Yana : With Chantho. She won't leave without me. She simply refuses.
The Doctor : You'd give your life so they could fly?
Professor Yana : Think I'm a little too old for Utopia. Time I had some sleep.
-
[the Master removes the navigational co-ordinates from the compter]
The Master : [sarcastically] Utopia.