- Lloyd: Give it!
- Howard: Give what?
- Lloyd: Oh, you know what! Don't push me!
- Bob: Well hold up, big man. It'd be a shame if we were forced to kick your asses in public.
- Bruce: No, what would be a shame is if someone dropped nanorobots in your coffee, got lodged in your colon, and gave you thirty years of diarrhea.
- Lloyd: We're gonna have to break into the embassy ourselves, which we're gonna suck at, and then they're gonna arrest us, they're gonna kill us, and then they're gonna torture us!
- Bruce: You're being ridiculous! After they kill us they can't torture us. The worst they could do is desecrate our bodies.
- Underchief: If I have to come down here one more time, it's going to be with a bullwhip and a hockey mask. *Comprende*?
- Bruce: What's the combination?
- Isabelle: I don't know, you're spies, you figure it out.
- Bruce: What's his birthday?
- Isabelle: November 12th 1956 of course.
- [Bruce stares at her oddly]
- Isabelle: It is a national holiday!
- [Nina stares at her oddly]
- Isabelle: Because he is an egoistic asshole! Why?
- Lloyd: Works 90% of the time, people are idiots, random numbers hello?
- El Presidente: [referring to prisoner] No, I will shoot him. Or someone who works for me will shot him. Either way, there will be a shooting.
- Lloyd: [Bruce phones him] What?
- Bruce: Why haven't you talked to her yet?
- Lloyd: How do you know I haven't?
- Bruce: Because I'm watching you, street cameras hello? What is taking you so long? The Maraguaya president is leaving in two days, we have to get the OCT back before then. Man up!
- Lloyd: Maybe I'd have more confidence if I was wearing one of your nipple shirts.
- Bruce: I'm hanging up now.
- Underchief: We can't have a hostile dictator wandering around Washington, DC invisible. He might sell us to KAOS... or France.
- [Lloyd is running through the Maragyuan embassy when his phone rings. He ducks into a storage closet to answer it]
- Lloyd: Bruce, what?
- Agent 99: [In Russia, annoyed] What exactly did I do to tick you off so much, Bruce?
- Lloyd: This isn't Bruce, it's Lloyd.
- Agent 99: Whatever!
- Lloyd: Listen, I'm kind of busy right now...
- Agent 99: Oh, oh, hey hey! I am out here in Podunk, Russia trying to save the free world, and everytime I turn around Max is pulling out some new gadget that I don't have!
- Lloyd: I REALLY need to go...
- Agent 99: Geiger-counter watch! Mini blow-gun with... some kind of lizard-foot poison dart which he doesn't even know how to use. And what do I get? Exploding dental floss!
- Lloyd: I'm kind of busy!
- Agent 99: That's two-year old technology! I mean, did I not remember you at Christmas? Because everyone else seemed pretty happy with the goddamn fudge!
- Lloyd: [Incredulous] What?
- Agent 99: [Dangerously] We ARE going to have words when I get back. Count on it, Bruce!
- Lloyd: [Snapping] It's Lloyd!
- [Agent 99 hangs up]
- Lloyd: I hate that!