- Frank Reynolds: I'm going with you guys because I am bored as shit.
- Dee Reynolds: That's not a good idea because when you get involved people usually get hurt.
- Frank Reynolds: I'm just hanging out with the guys. How's anyone gonna get hurt?
- [cue title card: "Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire"]
- Mac: [in a retirement home] These places are like prisons.
- Frank Reynolds: Like people getting ass raped?
- Charlie Kelly: What? Oh, my God, dude. No one's getting ass raped, Frank. Come on, man.
- Mac: No, it's just that people don't wanna be here, because they feel like...
- Frank Reynolds: Because they're getting ass raped!
- Charlie Kelly: Remember when we made the news show for eighth grade for social studies, dude?
- Mac: See, that was real news.
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah, we didn't distort facts. We told it like it was, you know?
- Mac: Yes.
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, I remember that video. You guys were burning G.I. Joes and throwing rocks at cats.
- Dee Reynolds: Oh look, plutonium smuggled into Syria. Yeah, that's gonna change my life drastically.
- Dennis Reynolds: That's gonna change everyone's lives! No one can go to Syria anymore for vacation!
- Charlie Kelly: Alright, well the problem was that I got the flashlight on and I taped the whole deal up and I realized I'd have to cut all the tape off to get the tape in and I didn't have much more duct tape so I figured stick with the flashlight while we got it.
- Mac: So you never put a tape in?
- Frank Reynolds: While we were out there taping the guys with the fish!
- Mac: In the nursing home! Outside!
- Charlie Kelly: Oh my god! See what's happening here is we're getting a yelling and!
- Mac: Yeah we're gonna get yelling!
- Charlie Kelly: Oh I'm sorry! OH I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN! I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN!