- [about having sex with Karen]
- Marcy Runkle: I don't want to go where Hank has been. I mean, he probably left booby-traps up there like the Vietcong.
- Hank Moody: [to Charlie] I know you Hebrews do things a little differently, but the last time I checked a ménage à trois was not a pitstop on the road to redemption.
- Marcy Runkle: What is a marriage if not an opportunity to mock someone through thick and thin while simultaneously exploring your deepest, darkest sexual desires?
- Hank Moody: [opens door] Hello, Sunshine.
- Karen: [rushes in] I'm double-parked, so I just gotta grab her.
- Hank Moody: By all means, skip the pleasantries, but... do me a favor and stop telling our daughter not to believe in happy endings. What's next, no Santa Claus? You're gonna shit all over the Easter Bunny too?
- Karen: Oh, you know what? I think she figured out the Santa Claus thing already, and, uh, I did believe in happy endings, just not when it came to The Ballad Of Hank And Karen.
- Hank Moody: Bullshit! We practically made out last week. That's nothing if not progress. I hope to get to second base this week.
- Karen: Oh, please! That was an accident.
- Hank Moody: Oh, that was an accident?
- Karen: Yeah.
- Hank Moody: That your tongue just slipped into my mouth?
- Karen: No, other way around.
- Hank Moody: The fact that you're - you're making these lame excuses up, can only mean one thing. You're totally into me. Still.