- [Airwrecka, Leetat and Poweetar grab the carriage with their beaks, and turn the carriage on its head]
- The Repigeonator: You didn't answer me, so you paid the price! Your lives, souls and bodies are now turned upside down!
- Eko: You see, all this science and technology is dangerous for you, I told you so! Back in my day, there were no planets! Only humans and God's green flat Terria.
- Yak Threng-Ge: Sure! Thanks! You're such a nice neighbor, always looking out for me.
- Khangri Daa-Ngen: I'm not your neighbor.
- Yak Threng-Ge: Yes, you are. You live right next to my house.
- Khangri Daa-Ngen: During the day, I'm your neighbor. At night, I'm your nightbor.
- The Repigeonator: Hello, one ticket to Ka Hol Mis, please! And a return ticket for the day after the day after the day after tomorrow, please!
- Ticket Seller: Well, well, well, the capital city, do you have some corrupt meeting to attend? Are you going to meet a filthy politician?
- The Repigeonator: Oh my pigeon, are you aware that this is Ikitwo? It's the greatest damn planet ever because it's ruled by the Eternal Iki, therefore there is no corruption on this sphere ball something.
- Eternal Iki: I can accomplish everything! And that includes big plans like mine, and also pointless tasks, such as being an advisor for a perfect organism!
- Advisor: Thank you so much! That's a wonderful thing of you to say!
- Eternal Iki: You're welcome! You're a great person, don't you ever forget that!
- Advisor: Thank you eleven times for these eleven words! Will you give me a promotion for being a great person?
- Eternal Iki: NO! Promotion, promotion, that's all I hear!
- Advisor: Sorry, I'm just asking for better working conditions. You lock us up at night, and you pay us less than the minimum wage for 12 hours of work every day! And you're not even paying us anything for the time we sleep here! Our sleep is also time spent at the workplace, time at your precious palace!
- Eternal Iki: How can you talk like this to your leader? How can you? Fuck you! You're fired!
- Advisor: You can't fire me on the spot! The great people have made that illegal!
- Eternal Iki: The people have no authority on this planet! I'm making it legal right now. It's legal now. You're fucking fired! Get your stupid ass out of here!
- [Poweetar knocks]
- Poweetar: Driver! Driver! Driver!
- Train Driver: What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you know that you're not supposed to talk to a driver while they're operating a vehicle in public transport?
- Poweetar: I see, Sir, I don't know if you've noticed, but you're dead wrong. First of all, this ain't public transport. We paid a whole lot of money for our tickets. Secondly, it's YOUR fault. You didn't have to answer our knocks, and it was YOU who opened the door, so what in the damn multiverse are you complaining about?
- Train Driver: Watch your fucking language! Or we're gonna drop you off at the next station!
- The Repigeonator: Freeze!
- Train Driver: Hahaha, no!
- The Repigeonator: Yes!
- [the Repigeonator morphs from his pigeon form into a refrigerator. He sucks in the train driver]
- Train Driver: I was frozen today!
- The Repigeonator: Insect!
- Airwrecka: Dude, that's a human!
- The Repigeonator: I don't care! Let's stop the train!
- [At the beach]
- Leetat: You two should probably not talk so loud. There are people everywhere, maybe they overheard that we are gonna rob them.
- The Repigeonator: Nobody cares. It's very common to get robbed, people are used to it.
- Airwrecka: Listen to Pidgy. Nobody gives a damn damn about money and all that stuff.
- Leetat: What the fuck? You're just making it worse right now!
- The Repigeonator: [Screaming] WE ARE GONNA ROB YOU AAALL!
- [No reaction]
- The Repigeonator: See? Nobody cares.
- Airwrecka: What movie should we see?
- The Repigeonator: Let's ask the spaghetti monster if it can recommend anything.
- Poweetar: Oh, that was just a joke, I made it up.
- Airwrecka: You are so mean! That's awful of you stupid fucker! I gave all my hopes, and simply my entire soul, body, and spirit to the spaghetti monster! Now my life is ruined just because of you!
- Poweetar: What the fuck? It was simply a joke. I thought it was obvious that I wasn't telling the truth. Who in the fucking world would think that noodles could fly, and even create entire worlds?
- Airwrecka: I would! You are an awful and disgusting bird, and you will pay for this!
- Poweetar: Naive stupid flying thing!
- Airwrecka: Messed-up delusional liar!
- Poweetar: Idiotic secondthoughter!
- Airwrecka: How dare you fucking say that? Asshole! I'll kill you!
- [Airwrecka pulls out a gun]
- The Repigeonator: NO ONE IS FIRING A GUN ON MY SHIP!
- Airwrecka, Poweetar: SHUT UP!
- Airwrecka: Jesus fucking Christ, calm the heck down and stop swearing, for bird's sake! I wasn't saying that I wanted to stop, I just said that I'm having second thoughts.
- Ticket Seller: Next stupid customer, please!
- [Poweetar walks up]
- Poweetar: How did you know that I am stupid?
- Eternal Iki: Well, I am an exception, everyone should always follow my example.
- Eko: Because you are so amazing?
- Eternal Iki: Yes, exactly. I wish I could create a whole new world where I'm God.
- The Repigeonator: Sinners! Damned of this planet! Dirty humans! Imperialist Ikitwoans! Today is the last day of your lives! Are you ready to get your lives turned upside down?
- Passenger: Who in the world are you?
- The Repigeonator: I am the Repigeonator! Haven't you heard about me?
- Ticket Buyer: Can I please have my ticket?
- Ticket Seller: Why would you need a ticket? We just want to take your money.
- Petro, the Psychologist: Interesting. Very interesting. Please sit down.
- Eternal Iki: I am already sitting.
- Petro, the Psychologist: Sorry, I didn't notice. Let me sit down as well.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Hello, my patient, my source of income! I am Doctor Kyrylo Weird.
- Patient 1: And I am your source of income indeed.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: What's the matter? I want to help you for as long as possible, so I get more money because that's what doctors do. I want to be rich.
- Patient 1: Well, you're lucky, because I am rich as well, so I can stay here for a very long time.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Awesome! Where is your money?
- Patient 1: It is in my imagination.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Oh my Kyrylo, that's awesome! I need you to undergo surgery, so I can get it out of there. NURSE!
- Nurse: Yes?
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: What the nurse took you so long?
- Nurse: I did. My legs did.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Let's get you longer legs tomorrow then.
- Nurse: No, I walked slowly on purpose.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Why the nurse would you do that? You're late every goddamn day.
- Nurse: My doctor told me not to walk so fast.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: I am your doctor.
- Nurse: I am your daughter.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: NO!
- [Patient 1 dies]
- Patient 1: Goodbye! I am dead.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Well, now that this is over with, let's move on to the next patient.
- Patient 2: I am right here!
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: That's amazing! Thank you for your service!
- Patient 2: What the hell? How can you say that about me?
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: I am a doctor!
- Patient 2: And I am a patient.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Let's get you into surgery then. Sleep!
- Patient 2: I am sleeping!
- Eternal Iki: A long time ago, God said: "Let there be light". So he turned on the switch, and the universe was bright. He said: "My God, it's full of stars!". But God got bored with the universe. The universe was so lonely, so God created eight other universes. But he realized that the distance to travel between them was too far, so he created the train of endlessness to travel around his creation. And because he didn't want to have to leave his tools in heaven, he transformed his tools of almightiness into twelve crystals, and he put each of them into the core of the train's 12 wheels, so he could take his power with him wherever he went. Unfortunately, the devil attacked the train and killed God. The angels were able to fight off the devil, but only after he took eight of the crystals, and spread them across the universe. The four other crystals remained inside the wheels of a ROFLMAO train. The terrorists are after the crystals. They want to gain the power of God!
- Airwrecka: Pidgy, we need to talk about this. We've got five of the crystals now, one from the Pating village, and the four other ones from the train. But we murdered an entire village for this shit, and I don't like the red sauce. It was all over the place.
- The Repigeonator: It was a lot of fun killing those people! If there was some gun control, insane people like us could be stopped, but there isn't, and playing with the red sauce is fun! It can be used as body paint, and we can sell it to the bats, they love to drink it.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Iki! Aqilah! Mayor! We did it! We defeated the TERFs!
- Aqilah: Gosh, I HATE the TERFs!
- Poweetar: That's some beautiful music!
- The Repigeonator: Ugh! I don't care about music! Nobody likes music!
- The Repigeonator: Amusing. Such wise words from a member of the worst species. But what about these little tools of yours, these... Ugh, Jesus, Airwrecka, what are they called?
- Airwrecka: Cats.
- The Repigeonator: CATS, that's it! These cats of yours! Yes, cats! They eat us birds all the time! You've created tools to commit genocide against yourselves, you've created these cats to commit genocide against us birds, and we're done! We're so fucking done with all that! We are here to avenge the fallen birds! We will get the crystals from that anus in the ground, then we will get the crystals of yours, and then we will crystal you out of existence!
- [Arriving at the TERFhole]
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Oh my Kyrylo, I'm really scared of these TERFs now, that thing looks AWFUL!
- Eternal Iki: We shouldn't be afraid of the TERFs. Fighting and resisting them is a much better idea.
- Pating Mayor: Isn't this the South Pole? Why is it so green and warm?
- Aqilah: Well, see, these TERFs are so retarded and behind our time that when you get to the TERFhole, you're being thrown back in time a billion years, when Antarctica wasn't yet covered in ice.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Oh my fucking God, those trains are even bigger than the cacti!
- Eternal Iki: Aqilah, can you please break the clutches with your heat vision?
- Aqilah: I have heat vision?
- Eternal Iki: Of course! We are the Forevers, and that means we are superheroes. Just go ahead.
- Aqilah: Okay.
- [Lasers beam out of Aqilah's eyes, and onto the clutches, breaking them]
- Aqilah: Done!
- The Repigeonator: Anyone else wanna disobey me?
- Airwrecka: No. Not anymore. You are awful, which makes you great. We are notsolutely afraid of you!
- The Repigeonator: Where in the fucking world is the Queen?
- Dancer 1: Who the fuck are you?
- The Repigeonator: We are the birds! And you are the humans! Therefore you need to do as we say! We hate humans! Humans are the lowest of the lowest!
- Dancer 1: Go away!
- [the Repigeonator shoots the dancer]
- The Repigeonator: Where in the fucking world is the Queen?
- Dancer 2: The queen has gone to Bolivia with a bunch of weird humans.
- The Repigeonator: Where is that place?
- Dancer 2: Download the Qirsh Maps application on your phone, it will help you find anything that can be found!
- The Repigeonator: I don't have a phone.
- Dancer 2: What the hell? Why don't you have a phone? Everyone has a phone!
- The Repigeonator: Where we are from, we don't need phones!
- Dancer 2: You're fucked then!
- The Repigeonator: Gimme your phone!
- Dancer 2: Lol, no!
- The Repigeonator: I SAID, gimme your phone!
- Dancer 2: The answer is still no. What are you gonna do? Shoot me?
- The Repigeonator: Yep, exactly!
- Dancer 2: Come on, I dare you!
- [the Repigeonator shoots the dancer]
- The Repigeonator: Challenge accepted, challenge passed!
- The Repigeonator: Does that mean you can tell us where the three other crystals are?
- Island Keeper: Yes, I can! Just let me think! One moment... Yes, I remember! There's this place near the South Pole called a TERFhole, it is full of disgusting people. The three other crystals are in there, and there's also a crown that can be used to store the crystals and to harness their power. The TERFhole is like an asshole in the ground!
- The Repigeonator: Well, thanks a lot! Let's enter the asshole! Challenge accepted!
- Island Keeper: So, Kyrylo, you are your group's only hope. Let's see how good you are. Shit down in front of me.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Excuse me? I didn't catch that.
- Island Keeper: I said, please sit down in front of me.
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Oh, now I got it. I thought you said something else. Nevermind.
- Island Keeper: Oh for fuckity fuck, stop interrupting me! THAT'S RUDE!
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Jesus damn Christ, what the heck is wrong with you? Calm the fuck down!
- Island Keeper: No! You used a bad word! Bad words are toxic! They hurt me so much! Please leave me alone!
- Aqilah: Well, I'm working for an antivirus Company called "The Antivirus Company". I test their software. I write computer viruses all day, and then I see if our software prevents these viruses from running or operating.
- Eternal Iki: What is your latest virus called?
- Aqilah: It's called "Fix This Shit".
- Aqilah: One day you won't have to think about your stupid family anymore, Iki. Family is not about blood, family is about who's there for you. Fuck those stupid societal values! You have a family in the Forevers!
- Island Keeper: By Hacanis and by Amawanis, look at me. Look at me, look into my eyes, look deep into my eyes. By Hacanis and by Amawanis, you are an annoying tourist. Yes, a tourist. For the next week, you will pay extremely low amounts of money for everything you do, and you will lick salt. You will lick the salt of these salt flats. By Hacanis and by Amawanis, you are a tourist licking salt.
- Eternal Iki: You are just a bird! How the fuck are you going to defeat us? Fly through us?
- The Repigeonator: No, I have a trick up my sleeves.
- Eternal Iki: Sure. Show us!
- The Repigeonator: I am not just a bird! I am also... A REFRIGERATOR!
- [the Repigeonator morphs from a pigeon into a refrigerator and sucks Iki, the mayor, Aqilah and Kyrylo inside]
- The Repigeonator: [Screaming] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
- [the Repigeonator explodes]
- Aqilah: What the fuck just happened?
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: I think we defeated the pigeon because we're sick. Because of our temperature, it got too hot in there, and the refrigerator exploded.
- Airwrecka: I am not going to take your insane insults anymore! I quit!
- The Repigeonator: Nice! I knew you'd abandon me eventually! So what? LEAVE!
- Airwrecka: Lolwut? We're in space! We're in fucking space!
- The Repigeonator: So what? Get out of the door!
- Airwrecka: What door?
- The Repigeonator: THE AIRLOCK, whaddaya think?
- Airwrecka: No, I would suffocate to death!
- The Repigeonator: Exactly! That's the point! I will kill you! I'll break every body in your bone!
- Airwrecka: With what? Your wings?
- The Repigeonator: No, I'll kick you into space, and then fly through you at lightspeed!
- Leetat: Pidgy, don't do that, that's murder!
- The Repigeonator: So what? We kill people all the time!
- Poweetar: But not our own damn crew! Are you insane?
- The Repigeonator: No, I'm not, why would you think that of me?
- Poweetar: Are you listening to yourself? You're angry as heck, and you've suggested killing Airwrecka twice now!
- The Repigeonator: Meh, so WHAT?
- Airwrecka: I do NOT want to be killed!
- The Repigeonator: Why does nobody want to die anymore?
- Doctor Kyrylo Weird: Do you know where the three other crystals are? We need to find them before the birds do. The birds murdered a mayor in Nepal, we learned so yesterday. A mayor, like you!
- Pating Mayor: I don't know for sure, but I've heard they can be found at the South Pole, in the TERFhole.
- Eternal Iki: What's a TERFhole?
- Pating Mayor: It's a hole in the Earth, and when you jump in there, there are tons of disgusting people who try to put hateful ideas into your head. They are monsters who want to destroy you. Like their name says, they are assholes from the TERFhole.
- Eternal Iki: Oh my Iki, that sounds like a horrible place!
- Pating Mayor: It is! You should be extremely careful, one TERF can poison an entire society! They are hideous organisms!
- Eternal Iki: We should try. We are brave. And even if we weren't brave, we should try anyway, we need to protect the world from the birds and the TERFs!
- Pating Mayor: Be careful, they made millions of people kill themselves!
- Eternal Iki: We will, we are stronger than these disgusting fuckers!
- The Repigeonator: Goooood moooooooooooorning!
- Ri Yul Mayor: Who are you? What are you doing?
- The Repigeonator: I am going to KILL you!
- Ri Yul Mayor: Oh no, please don't do that, that's not right!