- Kermit: Now then, what sort of business you got with Mr. Willis?
- Col. Steve Austin: Look, just tell me where he is, you're wasting my time.
- Kermit: You may not have a whole lotta time to waste, so why don't you just hop in this fancy machine of yours and ease on outta town. Do you read me, boy?
- Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, like a dime novel.
- [grabs him by the dungarees and lifst him onto the hood of his car]
- Col. Steve Austin: You tell me where I can find Bo Willis, boy, or I'm gonna sharpen your heels and drive you into the ground, you understand me?
- Col. Steve Austin: I'll have a drink.
- Johnny: Water, soda pop or milk? This here's a dry county, mister.
- Col. Steve Austin: I really came in to try some of that famous Bo Willis White Lightning.
- Johnny: I don't know what you're talking about, mister.
- Col. Steve Austin: Well, I thought files came in cakes.
- Middy: Just sandwiches, if you wanna buy 'em.
- Col. Steve Austin: Better not try it. Willis might not like his number one boy getting blown up.
- Sheriff Weems: How did you know?
- Col. Steve Austin: I saw it in a movie once.
- Sheriff Weems: But it's dark.
- Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, it was dark in the movie, too.
- Col. Steve Austin: Well, I'm sure you heard what happened to the still and car and the tanker truck while I was in jail.
- Charles Quinten: Yes. Sounds like you have an army behind you.
- Col. Steve Austin: Well, let's just say I got a strong right arm.
- Sheriff Weems: Listen, we just as soon work for you, I never did like Willis anyway.
- Col. Steve Austin: Oh, that's mighty nice of you, but I got other plans for you too.
- Sheriff Weems: You, you ain't gonna put that snake up here, are ya?
- Col. Steve Austin: No, he'd, eh, probably bite you and get sick.
- Col. Steve Austin: Well how does it look?
- Oscar Goldman: Quinten's ready to make a deal.
- Col. Steve Austin: No, that's not what I meant.
- Oscar Goldman: Well frankly pal, I like you better with the beard.
- Col. Steve Austin: I didn't, I didn't mean the beard, I meant the sign.
- Oscar Goldman: Oh, the sign? Oh, yeah. Oh the sign, yeah, the sign looks good. Why?
- Col. Steve Austin: You always this brave with frightened women?
- Sheriff Weems: You shut your mouth, bright boy! And come along... we got a squirmy little pet out here, who's dying to get his teeth into you!
- Sheriff Weems: This is as far as you go!
- [pushes Steve towards a hole]
- Col. Steve Austin: I suppose I'll find out what happened to the other troublemakers now, huh?
- Sheriff Weems: Well lots of strangers have bad accidents, in this part of the woods
- Col. Steve Austin: y-yeah? What kind of accidents?
- Kermit: Take a look in the hole, bright boy!
- Sheriff Weems: [Steve glances down to see Rattle Snake] Get in the hole, boy!
- Col. Steve Austin: Please, fellas! No!
- Kermit: You wont have to stay long!
- [pushes Steve into the hole]
- Col. Steve Austin: Ugh!
- [grunts from the fall]
- Col. Steve Austin: Aagh... Ow!
- [snake bites his leg]
- Kermit: Aw! Bit him in the leg!
- [Steve grunts in pain as the snake bites again]
- Kermit: Oh he's a mean one!
- [Kermit smiles]
- Kermit: Bit him-Bit him in the other leg!
- Sheriff Weems: You can get out of there now, bright boy.
- [Steve crawls out of the hole fake limping and groaning]