It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Mac Is a Serial Killer (2007)

Rob McElhenney: Mac

Quotes 

• Dennis Reynolds : [Dennis walks out with a turtleneck and a clipboard as Mac arrives for a blind date]  Who are you here to see?

  Mac : My friend Sandy.

  Dennis Reynolds : Oh, Sandy. Sandy, huh? Is Sandy a young, attractive, blond girl?

  Mac : I have no idea.

  Dennis Reynolds : Uh, Sandy, why don't you come out here, please?

  Dee Reynolds : [walks out]  Oh, hello, Mac.

  Dennis Reynolds : Not so young and attractive, is she?

• Dennis Reynolds : [the gang talks about the city's serial killer as Mac suddenly walks into the bar]  This guy got laid last night!

  Mac : [nervously]  No, I didn't!

  Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, you did. You didn't come last night.

  Mac : Yes, I did!

  Dee Reynolds : Yeah, those are the same clothes you were wearing yesterday.

  Mac : No, they aren't. They're different clothes.

  Dennis Reynolds : Hey, what's with those scratches on your neck?

  Mac : Scratches? What scratches? I've... I've gotta take a piss. Stop asking me questions.

  [runs into the bathroom] 

  Dee Reynolds : Well, that was weird.

  Charlie Kelly : I wonder what got into him.

  Frank Reynolds : Serial killin'!

• [Mac lets Charlie overhear Mac talking on the phone with a woman called Sandy, who unbeknownst to them is actually Dee disguising her voice] 

  Dee Reynolds : This is Mac, right? Good looking guy, great sense of humor, really bulky.

  Mac : Uh, more ripped.

  Charlie Kelly : Strike that.

  Mac : Jacked.

  Charlie Kelly : Irrelevant.

  Mac : Toned.

  Charlie Kelly : Exaggeration.

  Mac : I work out.

  Charlie Kelly : I'll allow it.

• Dee Reynolds : Did you bring the condoms?

  Mac : Ooooh. Not a fan of the whole condom thing.