- Shirley Holmes: This is where you found the brain hat?
- Bart James: It was closer to the lane side.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Come on, Shirley, the party's over. Sterling's just being a goof.
- Shirley Holmes: Stink wouldn't voluntarily miss cake.
- Bart James: Did you taste it?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Wait a second - Stink can fake footprints.
- Shirley Holmes: Why would be bother?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Because he knows exactly how to yank your chain.
- Bart James: Don't be embarrassed, Shirley. I've come to realize that gullability is a sign of superior moral character.
- [Shirley and Bo search Stink's messy room for clues]
- Shirley Holmes: Nothing seems to be missing.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: How can you tell?
- [Shirley tells Bo a series of bad jokes]
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Shirley, do the world a favor - stick to being a Holmes.
- Shirley Holmes: You're the third partner at Laugh Riot!
- Iris Patterson: I divorced Frank, not the company.
- [reading his poem about his birthday party]
- Sterling 'Stink' Patterson: Mom can't be here/What else is new/She's away on a business trip to Peru/Dad's throwing a party/Today at three/The guest of honor is him, not me.
- [last lines]
- Shirley Holmes: [narrating] I wonder what Stink's gonna be like when he grows up - or is growing up optional for all of us?