- Billy Conway: Mom's in the hospital. They took a lot of her female stuff out, like her filipino tubes. Everything except her Aunt Mildred.
- Gloria Conway: [to Billy, after he confesses to being the streaker at the convenience store] And you said, "I need to air my balls and steal from Drummond."
- Mrs. Smolensky: We all pay for our mistakes, Billy. You paid for yours long before you made them. Now you got to stop paying. See what the world has to offer.
- Ray Conway: [from the trailer] My Mother Was Electrocuted... While Washing The Dishes
- Gloria Conway: [in disbelief] While Washing The Dishes?