Shiva Baby (2020)

Polly Draper: Debbie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Debbie : You look like Gwyneth Paltrow on food stamps--and not in a good way.

• Ellie : Listen to your mother and don't marry anyone til you've slept with what, at least 10 people...

  Debbie : Well, maybe less.

  Ellie : Because you're gonna end up with one, and you'll be wiping his arthritic ass for the rest of your life.

• Debbie : Well thank god Sheila's coffee is always lukewarm, or you'd have third-degree burns, you know?

• Debbie : Can I whisper something to you?

  Danielle : Okay.

  Debbie : No funny business with Maya.

  Danielle : What is that supposed to mean?

  Debbie : You know what it means.

• Danielle : What's my soundbite again?

  Debbie : Y'know, just that you're finishing up finals and you've got a few job interviews lined up.

  Joel : Although Moira's here and her daughter Stephanie...

  Debbie : Jessica.

  Joel : Whatever. She's like this marketing executive kind of publicist thing.

  Debbie : Assistant.

  Joel : Exactly. You should really talk to her, y'know?

• Joel : It's a cute baby.

  Debbie : You thought that baby was cute?

  Joel : Yes.

  Debbie : It was hideous! Freakishly pale and no nose!

• Debbie : I thought you were done experimenting.

  Danielle : You think everyone that's bi is experimenting. You don't know anything. You have zero gaydar.

  Debbie : Excuse me, kid! I lived through New York in the 80s! My gaydar is strong as a bull!

• Danielle : Mom! Mom mom mom! Who died?

  Debbie : Abbie, Uncle Morty's second wife's sister. You remember her.

  Danielle : No, I don't think so.

• Danielle : Why did you bring the van?

  Joel : Your mother neglected to tell me that she was having her own car fixed.

  Debbie : [to Danielle]  I did tell him.

  Joel : I had to move all my products here to the back. As a matter of fact, there was no room for me to drive up front. Your mother had to drive.

  Debbie : I did tell you. He doesn't listen or he's got Alzheimer's!

• Max : [to Danielle]  You're studying business?

  Joel : [laughs]  No, not business.

  Debbie : No, no, she's studying gender.

  Danielle : The business of gender. It's like gender business.

  Joel : She does this fantastic program where you kind of design your own major. It's a little complex when it comes to finding employment, but she's doing terrifically.

• Joel : [searching his pockets]  Deb, do you have my phone on you?

  Debbie : No. You have Alzheimer's!

• Debbie : Just try to behave yourself today, for me, please?

  Danielle : What are you talking about, mom? I'm not gonna blow him in the bathroom.

  Debbie : We are at a shiva!

  Danielle : That's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna do it.

  Debbie : And you can't go there anyway. 'Cause he's married.

  Danielle : [stunned]  He's married?

  Debbie : Yuh huh.

  Danielle : Are you sure?

  Debbie : Yuh huh. To a shiksa princess. Poor guy.

• Ellie : Who the fuck brings a baby to a shiva?

  Debbie : She doesn't know. She's not Jewish.

  Ellie : What do you mean? You told me she converted.

  Debbie : Converted, shmerted! She doesn't even know how to say rugelach!