- Jamie Hughes: I know it wasn't Eddie, but how do you know it wasn't Eddie?
- Teen Lurch: He told me all about that night, how he was making out with Tiffany but then left as soon as she said she didn't do blow jobs. Just think. Maybe if she did do blow jobs, she'd still be alive.
- Jamie Hughes: Yeah let's not make that the lesson.
- Adult Randy Finkle: Yeah, so uh, the first thing you wanna do if you see the killer is run. Remember, avoid the knife... keep your life.
- Jamie Hughes: You shouldn't talk to your mom that way. You never know when... She just cares about you.
- Pam Miller: Oh so, what, like, you have a great relationship with your mom?
- Jamie Hughes: No. But I wish I did. And I wish I told her that I loved her more. I just didn't understand what she...
- Pam Miller: Hey. I'm saying this as a friend. But nobody wants to hear you talk about how much you love your mom, okay?
- Chris Dubasage: You shouldn't have time-traveled.
- Jamie Hughes: And you shouldn't have messed up my family!
- [shoot Chris with nail gun]
- Jamie Hughes: Enjoy the ride.
- [Kick Chris to his death]
- Sheriff Dennis Lim: Old people. Sick people. And people with dogs.
- Brody: That's the order you hate people in?
- Sheriff Dennis Lim: Yep.
- Brody: That's a good order.
- Jamie Hughes: [to teen Kara] You will become a miserable person, never knowing true happiness, and rocking an unflattering haircut that makes your head look like a ping pong ball.
- Teen Doug Summers: That was oddly specific.
- Jamie Hughes: [Blake, Randy & Kara arrive at Marisa's cabin] I thought it was just going to be us four.
- Pam Miller: What is the big deal? Did you just want to lez out this weekend?
- Jamie Hughes: Gross! Not... your comment was gross, not gay people. Gay people are amazing. Your comment was, had homophobic undertones.
- Jamie Hughes: You killed my mom!
- Chris Dubasage: Twice. It seems.
- Jamie Hughes: And your own dad.
- Chris Dubasage: That was just a bonus. I'm still alive in 1987. Now *that* Chris won't have to deal with a piece-of-shit dad who cares more about his legacy than his own fucking son!
- Sheriff Dennis Lim: I haven't seen you around before.
- Jamie Hughes: Yeah, I'm an exchange student. From Prince Edward Island, Canada.
- Sheriff Dennis Lim: Sounds made up.
- Jamie Hughes: It's not. It's a real place.
- Jamie Hughes: My mom never got a note in her locker in 1987. You wrote it after she died. Why would you do this?
- Chris Dubasage: Continue the story. It's hard to sustain interest in three kills 35 years ago. But now the Sweet 16 Killer's back, and he's a bogeyman. He could be anywhere at any time. Can't be killed. He's Michael fucking Myers!
- Brody: [about Back to the Future] I do want to see that movie, though.
- Sheriff Dennis Lim: Not me. I hate time travel movies. They never make any sense.
- Jamie Hughes: [upon seeing the cartoon-Indian mascot her school has in 1987] And there's the racism.