- Wade Duck: Hey, whatcha reading, Orson?
- Orson Pig: Oh, it's my grandfather's diary. I found it here with all his belongings.
- Wade Duck: Does he say anything in there about my grandfather?
- Orson Pig: [flips through the pages] Well, let me see. Oh, here. "The only problem I have is that my colleague, William Duck, is terrified nearly every hour."
- [in a flashback, Orson's grandfather is digging]
- Wade's Grandfather: [runs behind Orson's grandfather] Help! Help! Oh, help! It is a monster! It is a terrible, ugly, hairy monster!
- [a mouse appears]
- Wade's Grandfather: A monster such as you have never seen! Help! Save me from the monster! Save...
- Orson's Grandfather: That is not a monster. That is a mouse.
- Wade's Grandfather: Well, it is... a rather large mouse.
- Wade Duck: Yep. That's my grandpa alright.
- Roy Rooster: [while helping Orson push out a cart full of chocolate] A whole mountain that's bad for your teeth!
- Orson Pig: Now, don't get too excited, Roy. Something could still go wrong.
- Roy Rooster: [chuckles] What could go wrong?
- [Orson's brothers appear with a captured Wade]
- Orson Pig: How about them showing up?
- [Orson's brothers tackle Roy and Orson and later have them tied up with Wade]
- Roy Rooster: That could be a problem, yes.
- [the melted chocolate gushes out of the mountain, washing away Orson's brothers]
- Roy Rooster: We got to get out of here, Orson.
- [Orson, Roy, and Wade free themselves]
- Roy Rooster: I have something important to do. I have to find a whipped cream mine so I can make the world's biggest hot fudge sundae! Yahoo!
- Jon Arbuckle: Hi, guys.
- Garfield: Things just didn't work out with Abigail.
- Jon Arbuckle: Things just didn't work out with Abigail.
- Garfield: [sarcastically] What a surprise.
- Herman Post: [reads the package Garfield left out front] "To Abu Dhabi. Please bend and fold." Must be that cute kitten again.
- Woman: [about Garfield] That poor cat. He looks so... so un-cute.
- Man: That's a cat? You could've fooled me.
- [Garfield puts on a bonnet to look like a cute kitten for an old man]
- Garfield: What a terrific idea. I finally found a use for Nermal.
- [the old man's cat, Madison, approaches Garfield, with a box]
- Madison: Yeah, you are a cute kitten. There's only one thing to do with cute kittens: Mail 'em to Abu Dhabi!
- [throws Garfield in a box and wraps it up]
- Garfield: [yelps] You can't! Stop! I'm not cute! I-I'm really not cute!
- [Madison tosses Garfield into a passing mail truck]
- Garfield: I'm as not cute as they come! And besides, this is my ideaaaa!
- Garfield: [writes a letter while in Abu Dhabi] "To Nermal Cat. Having a miserable time. Wish YOU were here."
- Garfield: [while in Abu Dhabi] You know the worst part of this? It isn't that I'm 7,000 miles from home. It isn't that there's no decent Italian restaurant in all of Abu Dhabi. It's that the whole place is full of cute kittens people have mailed here.
- [Garfield is shown surrounded by cute kittens]
- Television announcer: And here's the host of Dream Date, Skip Yenta.
- Skip Yenta: Thank you thank you, well on yesterday's show you saw said cartoonist Jon Arbuckle, out with his ideal woman and uh...
- Ursula Fenstermucker: Wait me outside!
- Skip Yenta: Well here's the happy couple now.
- Ursula Fenstermucker: Happy, huh, I never had a worse night of my life thank to you!
- Skip Yenta: Don't you two want to get married.
- Jon Arbuckle: Oh, me...?
- Ursula Fenstermucker: So this jerk and his cat, it's all rigged, I was supposed to get this guy to fall for me then dump him on live television!
- Skip Yenta: Ursula calm.
- Ursula Fenstermucker: I won't calm down after what I've been through this show is fixed, the whole thing I mean it's rick!
- Television announcer: [Please Stand By] We are experiencing difficulties, we will return to Dream Date in the moment... eh maybe?