Garfield and Friends (TV Series)

Taste Makes Waist/The Wolf Who Cried Boy/Day of Doom (1992)

Thom Huge: Jon Arbuckle, Roy Rooster

Quotes 

• Jon Arbuckle : Boy, I'm hungry. But I need to go on a diet.

  [turns on the TV] 

  TV Host : Do you need to go on a diet?

  Jon Arbuckle : How come my TV always knows what I'm thinking?

  Garfield : Just be glad someone does.

• Sylvia Svelte : Well, have you decided what you would like?

  Jon Arbuckle : Yes, I'll have the turkey, my dog will have the beef...

  Garfield : And I'll have the rest!

• [Jon, Garfield, and Odie find that their diet food is extremely small] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Well, maybe it taste real good.

  [Jon eats his tiny turkey and clearly doesn't like it] 

  Jon Arbuckle : How's yours, Garfield?

  Garfield : [looks through a microscope]  Hold on, wait a minute. I think I found some cheese. No, that's a stain on the lens.

  [eats his tiny lasagna] 

  Garfield : Yuck City! Who in the world could be stupid enough to like this food?

  [Odie gladly licks all his food and holds up his plate, wanting more] 

  Garfield : You'd think with a tongue like that, he'd have some taste buds.

• Sylvia Svelte : How did you find our turkey?

  Jon Arbuckle : I moved a cranberry and there it was. Miss Svelte, your food is terrible. You want to know how terrible it is?

  Sylvia Svelte : How terrible is it?

  Jon Arbuckle : [points to Garfield]  HE won't eat it.

  Garfield : And that's pretty terrible.

• Jon Arbuckle : I demand my money back.

  Sylvia Svelte : Sorry. No refunds.

  Jon Arbuckle : I said I want my money back!

  Sylvia Svelte : I don't have time to argue. I have to go do another commercia... Uh, uh, TV show. Bruno! Igor!

  Jon Arbuckle : I am not leaving without a refund.

  [the two large men, Bruno and Igor, appear behind Jon] 

  Garfield : You ARE leaving without a refund.

  [Bruno and Igor toss Jon and Garfield out of the store] 

  Garfield : Those guys have not been living on the food here.

• [after Garfield succeeds in exposing Sylvia] 

  Jon Arbuckle : [to Odie]  I don't know how he does it. Do you know how he does it? I don't know how he does it.

• [after Roy rings the bell] 

  Orson Pig : We're all here, Roy. Where's the wolf?

  Roy Rooster : There is no wolf! I made you all coming running!

  [Roy falls to the ground, laughing] 

  Orson Pig : That's not funny, Roy.

  Roy Rooster : For you, probably not. But for me, it's a scream!

  Bo : Like, don't do that again, Roy.

  Lanolin : Or we'll make sure that the farmer's wife gets a new feather duster... you.

• Roy Rooster : [still laughing]  That was too, too funny.

  [laughs more] 

  Roy Rooster : I think I'll do it again. No, no. That would be cruel, childish, and pointless. Three excellent reasons to do anything!

• [Roy rings the bell again, his friends run back only to find him laughing on the ground] 

  Lanolin : Roy!

  Orson Pig : Roy, we don't find this very funny.

  Roy Rooster : You're not supposed to find this very funny. I'M supposed to find it very funny!

• Roy Rooster : [laughing]  Oh ho ho ho! The look on their faces.

  [imitates his angry friends] 

  Roy Rooster : Too funny for words! Ha ha!

  [still laughing, Roy doesn't notice he approaches the wolf, who is stealing the chickens] 

  Roy Rooster : You should've seen them! They were so mad! Ho ho ha ha ho! I thought Orson was gonna... And Lanolin, she was so... And Bo, he was so... And the chicks!

  [notices the wolf] 

  Roy Rooster : And... And... And they... And they were... And, uh, you are... Eh... Ooh... And you... You have the chickens and you're the wolf and me and... I... ho ho... You're the wolf!

  Wolf : Nothing gets by you.

• Roy Rooster : I gotta get help!

  [rings the bell] 

  Roy Rooster : The wolf! Help! The wolf! Wolf! Wolf!

  [Lanolin and Bo hear Roy while tending to their crops] 

  Lanolin : It's Roy again.

  Bo : Bummer.

  [Lanolin and Bo resume their chores while Orson sits down with Booker and Sheldon, who also hear Roy] 

  Booker : We're not falling for it again.

  Wade Duck : [runs by]  I am. Help! Possible wolof! Possible but not probable! Help! Wolof!

• Roy Rooster : Attention, everyone! There is a wolf in the barnyard! Repeat: A wolf in the barnyard!

  [Orson, Booker, and Sheldon continue to ignore Roy] 

  Sheldon : Why doesn't he give up?

  Booker : Tell us the story of The Wolf Who Cried Boy, Orson.

  Orson Pig : Okay. Well, uh, once upon a time, there was a family of wolves. They lived in peace in their little valley. In fact, the only thing they feared was the occasional appearance of a hunter. Every night, one of them would stand guard while the others slept. For some reason, he thought it would be fun to play a trick on the others. He yelled, "Boy! Boy! There's a boy coming!" And then he laughed as they all ran in terror. It was so much fun that the next night, he did it again. "Boy coming!" he cried. "There's a boy coming!" And once again, he scared all his friends. And once again, he laughed and laughed. But this time, they all determined never to fall for his lies again. Now the next night when he was on guard, he happened to look over in the bushes and there he saw a young boy out hunting. "Boy!" he yelled. "There's a boy coming!" But none of the other wolves believed him. They learned not to trust a word he said. And so there was no one to help him when...

  [hears Roy still ringing the bell and realizes something] 

  Orson Pig : When...

  Sheldon : What's wrong, Orson?

  Orson Pig : What's wrong is that even a liar sometimes tells the truth! Come on! We better go check!

  [Orson runs off, Booker and Sheldon follow him. They soon past Bo and Lanolin] 

  Orson Pig : Bo! Lanolin! Roy might be telling the truth!

  Lanolin : Roy? Telling the truth?

  Bo : Whoa, that's, like, pretty low, man. Even for him.

• Orson Pig : Well, we hope you learned your lesson, Roy.

  Lanolin : Yeah, when you lie, folks stop believing you about everything.

  Roy Rooster : [exhausted]  I've reformed. I'll never lie again.

  Sheldon : Can we believe you about that?

  Roy Rooster : Probably not.

• Narrator : Yes, it was Monday. Monday. The most horrible, awful nightmare of a day in the whole week.

  Garfield : What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

  Jon Arbuckle : [appears with a plate]  Today, Garfield, we're going to eat nothing but raisins.

  Garfield : Raisins? AAAAH!

• [Jon, Garfield, and Odie find a wishing well in the park] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Funny, I never noticed a wishing well here before.

  Narrator : And when his master gave him a coin and invited him to make a wish, the cat could only think of one thing.

  Garfield : I wish... it would... never be Monday again.

  [Garfield tosses the coin in the wishing well] 

  Narrator : Impossible? Perhaps. But the thing that you must always remember about wishes is this: Sometimes... Sometimes, when you least expect it, they come true.

• [after Monday is removed] 

  Garfield : Where's the food?

  Jon Arbuckle : There isn't any food. I can't buy food until I get paid and I get paid on Mondays.

  Garfield : Hey, I don't want to hear this. Just make lasagna and lots of it.

  Jon Arbuckle : I can't cook until I get paid, Garfield, and besides, I usually make you lasagna on Mondays.