- [Chef Paolo tries to protect his cake from London and Maddie's dueling]
- Chef Paolo: Hey, surfer dudes!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick, London Tipton: Where?
- [while they're distracted, Chef Paolo moves his cake]
- Mr. Moseby: I have a very important hotel guest coming.
- Cody Martin: Who is it, the President of the Pocket Hanky Association?
- [laughs]
- Mr. Moseby: No! And it's not an association, it's a club.
- Zack Martin: You know, I was reading my textbook last night and...
- Cody Martin: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You were reading a textbook?
- Carey Martin: I'm so proud!
- [to a person on the phone]
- Carey Martin: No, no, not you. Although if you get the pizza here in less than 30 minutes, we'll talk.
- Zack Martin: [after Tony Hawk skateboards into the Tipton] Whoa! Do you know who you are?
- Tony Hawk: Tony Hawk?
- Zack Martin: Yes!
- Tony Hawk: Good, because that's the name I made the reservation under.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: [to London] Are you doing this on purpose?
- London Tipton: Doing what?
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Completely ignoring everything I'm saying!
- London Tipton: Doing what?
- London Tipton: Ooh! Daddy's arranged for me to have private fencing class for P.E. credit. I don't like poor girls sweating on me.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, this poor girl doesn't want to bleed on you.
- London Tipton: [about her and Diego] We're gonna get married, buy a big villa and live in acapella.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: People sing acapella. He lives in Acapulco.
- London Tipton: That's what my sweater's made of!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: That's alpaca!
- Zack Martin: [about Cody's germ suit] I don't know whether to laugh at you or roast you over a campfire.