She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV Series)

The People vs. Emil Blonsky (2022)

Drew Matthews: Dennis Bukowski

Quotes 

• Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski in relation to his romantic life?

  Jennifer Walters : Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited. He once described himself as a New York 10 and an LA 11.

  [Runa chuckles] 

  Jennifer Walters : He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere...

  Dennis Bukowski : Objection. Relevance.

  Judge Price : Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that you're not representing yourself here? And this is your witness. But I agree. Mr. Pugliese, get to your point.

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : It's been stated many times in this courtroom that a man of reasonable intelligence would never think that he was dating the real Megan Thee Stallion. In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think that Dennis Bukowski would believe that he could actually pull Megan Thee Stallion?

  Jennifer Walters : Yes. Dennis Bukowski is an almost pathologically entitled man. He would absolutely believe that he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion because he is truly that delusional.

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : No further questions, Your Honor.

• Dennis Bukowski : We have too much history for me to be comfortable with her on the case.

  She-Hulk : I would love to know what this is about and not work on it.

• Lauren Jesper : I'd like to move for dismissal of all charges against my client.

  Judge Price : On what grounds?

  Lauren Jesper : Runa is the daughter of an Elfin diplomat on Asgard and now in New Asgard.

  Dennis Bukowski : [whispers to Pug]  Did you know about this?

  Lauren Jesper : As such, she has diplomatic immunity.

  Judge Price : She may have diplomatic immunity in New Asgard, but we are not in New Asgard.

  Runa : Excuse me, Your Honor, but Asgard is not a place, it is a people. Therefore, I...

  Judge Price : Thor's inspirational speeches are not admissible in court.

• Dennis Bukowski : This is absolutely ridiculous. I am incredibly upset. What kind of office doesn't have any Red Bulls?

• Holden Holliway : Well, our friend, Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office, needs help on a delicate matter. He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend and wants to file a suit against her to get his money back.

  Dennis Bukowski : Yeah. I bought her jewelry, flew her to Bali for a shoot, paid off her Volkswagen Passat. Subscribed to...

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : But why the Superhuman Law Division?

  Holden Holliway : The girlfriend in question is a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard.

  She-Hulk : Wow, Dennis.

  Dennis Bukowski : Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought I was dating Megan Thee Stallion.

  She-Hulk : I'm sorry. What? Sorry. You thought you were dating Megan Thee Stallion? Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar Megan Thee Stallion?

  Dennis Bukowski : What part of shapeshifter did you not get?

  She-Hulk : [chuckles]  You thought she drove a Passat?

  Dennis Bukowski : This is why I don't want Walters.

  She-Hulk : [chuckles]  I'm so sorry.

• Mallory Book : You wanted to see me?

  Holden Holliway : Ah, yes. Mallory Book is also in the Superhuman Law Division.

  Dennis Bukowski : Yeah. No, I can't talk to a 10 about embarrassing man stuff. She could be my next fiancée.

  Mallory Book : Happy to not be involved.

• Dennis Bukowski : Hey, P-Dog, how is Jen our best option? I gave you a whole list of my boys.

• Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Did he ever share his personal life with you? Specifically, his dating life.

  Jennifer Walters : Yes, he would, prolifically and unprompted.

  Dennis Bukowski : [mutters]  You wanted to know.

• Dennis Bukowski : The sad part is that elf's just gonna get a slap on the wrist. I wish there was a way we could remove her powers and make sure she doesn't victim anyone else.

  Jennifer Walters : Oh!

  [to the camera] 

  Jennifer Walters : Did Dennis Bukowski just give me an idea?

  [beat] 

  Jennifer Walters : That will stay between us.

• Dennis Bukowski : You guys think I have a shot with the real Megan Thee Stallion? Should I go back?

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : No. No. Please, don't do that.