Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Ron the News Reader, Debate Host, Randy Marsh, Barack Obama, Robert Pooner the News Reporter, Photographer #1, Security Guard, Doctor #1, Britney Spears (After Suicide Attempt), News Reporter, Photographer #3, Sound Recordist, Record Label Man, MTV Announcer, Woman in Audience, Man in Audience, Third News Reporter, Train Ticket Clerk, David the News Reporter, Brian, Man Chasing Britney, Photographer #4, Policeman, Narrator, Train Driver, Bob Summer, Old Man, Man in Crowd, Man on Train, Photographer #6, Photographer #8, Joe, E.T. Host