Going Postal (2010)
Steve Pemberton: Drumknott
Quotes
-
Drumknott : [Lipwig is about to be hung] I bring an edict from Lord Vetinari, patrician of Ankh-Morpork.
Moist Von Lipwig : A reprieve!
Drumknott : He says to get on with it.
-
Ridcully : [entering Lord Vetinari's office] This had better be important. I'm in the middle of an experiment.
Lord Vetinari : Involving a knife and fork, no doubt.
Ridcully : [sighing] I don't expect a layman to understand the pressures of university life.
Lord Vetinari : Incredible though it may seem, we've found a practical use for one of your magical devices.
Ridcully : Have you?
Lord Vetinari : The object in question is, um...
[Lord Vetinari looks at Drumknott]
Drumknott : An omniscope, my lord.
Lord Vetinari : Enabling us to see things at a distance, I believe.
Ridcully : The omniscope is a highly complex, very unstable piece of equipment.
Lord Vetinari : You mean it doesn't work?
Ridcully : Well...
[stammering]
Ridcully : Relatively speaking, it works.
Lord Vetinari : Excellent. Kindly have it up and running by dawn tomorrow.
Ridcully : Now listen, magic is not some kind of workman's tool that you can hire out by the hour.
Lord Vetinari : Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.
[Drumknott smirks]