Due Date (2010)
Robert Downey Jr.: Peter Highman
Photos
Quotes
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Peter Highman : Why are your father's ashes in a coffee can?
Ethan Tremblay : Because he's dead, Peter.
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Peter Highman : Okay, I've calmed down a bit.
Ethan Tremblay : You ready to apologize?
Peter Highman : What? Fuck you!
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Peter Highman : I despise who you are on a cellular level.
Ethan Tremblay : Okay, I've heard that before and I'm trying to work on it.
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Peter Highman : I have to get back to Los Angeles.
TSA Agent : Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he was pretty stupid. I have faith in you.
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Peter Highman : That was William Shakespeare. Have you heard of him?
Ethan Tremblay : Yes, I've heard of Shakespeare. He was a famous pirate.
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Peter Highman : What were you thinking when you spent almost all of our money on drugs?
Ethan Tremblay : I don't think in those terms.
Peter Highman : What terms do you think in?
Ethan Tremblay : I'm not an accountant, Peter. I'm not even Jewish.
Peter Highman : Are you an adult?
Ethan Tremblay : Of course I'm an adult. I'm 23 years old.
Peter Highman : You are the most shot-out 23-year-old I've ever seen. How have you made it this far? How have you not run yourself over in a car?
Ethan Tremblay : I've done that.
Peter Highman : How have you survived? That's my question.
Ethan Tremblay : Mostly luck.
Peter Highman : Yeah. That's what I thought. Just dumb fucking luck.
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Ethan Tremblay : Where's your dad?
Peter Highman : Uh... no idea.
Ethan Tremblay : When's the last time you saw him?
Peter Highman : 1977. He had his bags packed at the door and he picked them up and put in the back of his car. And, uh, drove away. Last time I ever saw him.
Ethan Tremblay : [begins laughing hysterically]
Ethan Tremblay : That's so funny! My dad would never do that, he loved me!
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Ethan Tremblay : Give me a scene.
Peter Highman : Okay, I'm Julia Roberts. We are engaged to be married. You have terminal cancer. Break the news to me.
Ethan Tremblay : Julia Roberts, as you know, we are engaged to be married. I have terminal cancer.
Peter Highman : Awful, just awful. I didn't buy into that one bit.
Ethan Tremblay : I thought that was really good.
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Peter Highman : I didn't sleep last night. I'm gonna try now.
Ethan Tremblay : Well you really should have masturbated, cuz I had a glorious orgasm and I slept like a baby.
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Ethan Tremblay : Holy Moses, it's like I'm traveling with a child!
Peter Highman : Have you used the restroom?
Ethan Tremblay : Good point, I need to take a pee-pee.
[walks towards the restroom with a childish walk]
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Peter Highman : I'm sorry I spat on your dog. I have no recollection of that.
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Ethan Tremblay : [At the Western Union after some ID troubles] Oh, jeepers creepers. He's right. He's right.
Peter Highman : What do you mean "he's right"?
Ethan Tremblay : Ethan Tremblay is my stage name.
[to clerk]
Ethan Tremblay : I'm an actor.
Peter Highman : Stage name.
Ethan Tremblay : Yeah.
Peter Highman : What is your real name?
Ethan Tremblay : Ethan Chase, but it doesn't sound like an actor's name.
Peter Highman : [Annoyed] Ethan Chase sounds like the name of an actor. Ethan Tremblay doesn't make any goddamn sense. Okay? It's confusing. It sounds like it was made up...
Ethan Tremblay : Yeah. I made it up.
Peter Highman : Ethan, I *know* you made it up. It's your fucking stage name! Why did you have my wife wire money to your stage name...?
Ethan Tremblay : I wasn't thinking!
Peter Highman : Right.
Ethan Tremblay : I'm just trying to commit to the new name...
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Peter Highman : I'm sorry we drank your father.
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Peter Highman : I'm telling you. I wouldn't make it up.
Ethan Tremblay : You sure? I could've sworn I read it was man-made.
Peter Highman : Nope. Not correct. Very old. Formed over time. Grand Canyon. Known fact.
Ethan Tremblay : Peter, I have a photogenic memory. I have recall for...
Peter Highman : Ethan, I promise you. It's old. It's the Grand Canyon, it's not Hoover Dam.
Ethan Tremblay : Well, I know it's not the Hoover Dam, that was built by the Pilgrims.
Peter Highman : Also incorrect.
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Peter Highman : Okay, if you are going to travel with we have to set a few ground rules. First off, no asking me any questions. Second, if you fall asleep for any reason other than that you are in a bed and it's nighttime, I will strangle you. Third, if you are allergic to waffles, don't eat them.
Ethan Tremblay : Then don't take me to a Waffle House.
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Peter Highman : Okay, it's the Super Bowl. You're a coach with a spotty career. You are down 31-0 at halftime and you need to motivate your team.
Ethan Tremblay : That wouldn't work in a movie.
Peter Highman : You kidding me? It's in a movie every two years.
[Ethan walks out of the bathroom]
Ethan Tremblay : [Ethan storms back into the bathroom] Come on guys! You, Allan, you're playing like a girl out there. What are you, a girl or something? You, Smith, what are you, a girl or something?
Peter Highman : Okay, your wife calls. She wants a divorce.
Ethan Tremblay : The coach's wife?
Peter Highman : Yes, the coach. The character you're playing.
Ethan Tremblay : Come on, guys.
[Ethan picks up his phone]
Ethan Tremblay : Hold on a minute, guys. Hello? What? You're leaving me? No! I can't have this happening to me. My dad died, and now this.
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Peter Highman : You are a colonel in my platoon and you promised to get me home to my high school sweetheart.
[Ethan pukes into Peter's wound]
Ethan Tremblay : I'm sorry. I puked into the wound.
Peter Highman : That's okay.
[Peter gets confused by the sudden change of look on Ethan's face]
Ethan Tremblay : Get in the back, private. What are you, a girl or something?
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Sarah Highman : You love him, you now you love him.
Peter Highman : I survived him. There's a difference.
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Peter Highman : The dog is masturbating!
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Peter Highman : If I miss the birth of my own child, I'm gonna choke you out with your own scarf. Wrap that thing 'round your head, and choke you out.
Ethan Tremblay : Sounds a bit... drastic.
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[first lines]
Peter Highman : I just had the strangest dream. It's Friday. We're at the hospital. But it's not a hospital, it's a, a, a forest of sorts. And I know that because right next to you there's a bear. A grizzly, cooling his feet in a stream. And all of a sudden, you begin to deliver, and I can't get to you. But the bear can. And the next thing I know, he is holding our beautiful baby boy. And here's where it gets odd. Uh, he chews the cord. But, strangely, I'm okay with it. That's gotta be a good sign.
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Ethan Tremblay : [from trailer] My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here.
Peter Highman : Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.
Ethan Tremblay : But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here.
Peter Highman : But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
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Peter Highman : How have you made it this far? How have you not run yourself over in a car?
Ethan Tremblay : I've done that.
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Ethan Tremblay : Dr. Greene says it happens all the time. You know, ultrasounds aren't always reliable.
Peter Highman : Right.
Ethan Tremblay : Little Rosie.
Peter Highman : Rosie? Little Rosie Highman. Does that sound strange to you?
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Peter Highman : This window's not working.
Ethan Tremblay : No, I locked them so we could get a good clam bake going on in here. That way Sunny could get stoned.
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Ethan Tremblay : We'll have to do that tomorrow. We close in five minutes.
Peter Highman : It's 6:35, sir.
Lonnie : What are you, my fucking boss? You make the hours? I say when we close. l got reservations at Chili's. I'm meeting my boys.
Peter Highman : You have a reservation at Chili's?
Ethan Tremblay : That's actually smart. l mean, it gets busy on a Wednesday night.
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Heidi : If you're a Cop, you have to tell me.
Peter Highman : That's actually a myth.
