Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

John Cusack: Adam

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Adam : [to Lou]  You are the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!

• Lou : Fuckin' Russian energy drink, Chernobly. Its got this shit in it, not even legal here.

  Adam : Whats in it?

  Lou : How the fuck am I supposed to know dude, but it's illegal.

• Nick : Lou, why would he do this?

  Adam : Why? I mean make a list. He's an alcoholic, he's divorced, his wife ran off with that Jamaican guy.

  Nick : He's failed at every jived ass money hustle he's ever tried.

  Adam : He has a mountain of debt.

  Nick : He hates his mother.

  Adam : Hates himself, hates everybody.

  Nick : He has erectile dysfunction.

  Adam : He's got halitosis.

  Nick : He's got that right ball! One less ball, shriveled up

  Adam : Oh yeah!

  Nick : ...like a... spoiled grape.

  Adam : I don't know. It's just like an accumulation of punishment.

  Lou : [Throws a pillow]  FUCK YOU GUYS!

• Adam : One little change has a ripple effect and it effects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami, in like, you know, somewhere.

  Jacob : Yes exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented.

  Lou : Oh then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.

  Jacob : Yeah. No. I was more concerned about bigger consequences like not being born.

  Lou : Yeah. No. I don't care about that.

• Nick , Lou , Adam : [Repeated line, whispered]  Great White Buffalo.

• Adam : By all counts we should be pretty fucked up right now, but I - I kind of feel great.

  Nick : I feel crazy right now.

  Lou : I feel fantastic! I wanna *fuck* somethin'!

• Lou : It's the fucking 80's guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!

  Jacob : That's the 60's, dipshit.

  Adam : We had like Reagan and AIDS. Let's get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!

• Nick : Just like Cincinatti.

  Lou : What?

  Adam : You're gonna bring that up?

  Lou : We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinatti ever, okay?

  Jacob : Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinatti"?

  Adam : Yeah!

  Lou : What? That's fucking admissible!

  Nick : You keep it in the closet?

  Adam : What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things.

  Nick : You wrote "Cincinatti" on it?

  Adam : How do I know which one it's supposed to be?

  Jacob : Is it a fetus?

  Nick : My friends are ridiculous.

• Adam : The carving you made 20 years ago, about me sucking cocks and dicks, it's not there.

  Lou : Wait. Is "cocks" still there?

  Adam : Nothing. I mean, it's not there.

  Lou : What about "dicks"?

  Adam : Neither "cocks," nor "dicks," nor "sucks."

  Lou : Oh, God!

  Nick : That's it. We're stuck in the fuckin' '80s!

• Jenny : God, I can't stop thinking about last night. It was like - friggin' hot.

  Adam : It was? What did we do? I don't remember.

  Jenny : You lasted, like, 10 minutes.

• Jacob : [Refferring to Lou]  Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.

  Adam : Yeah, but you had that coming.

• Adam : Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?

  Jacob : What should I do out of the house this weekend Uncle Adam?

  Adam : Something in the course of reality, get a job, go to college.

  Jacob : That all sounds overrated.

• Adam : Why do you waste your time with that second-life bullshit? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week.

  Jacob : Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time".

  Adam : Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some shit like that?

• Adam : Listen to me, man. That guy, that guy has pummeled you again and again.

  Nick : He made you his little bitch!

  Adam : He's humiliated you, emasculated you. The wheel of fate has stopped and dumped you here again, utterly defeated.

  Lou : None of this is helping me at all.

  Adam : I know, it's coming. It's coming right now.

  Nick : Patience.

  Adam : Maybe you're supposed to do something different...

  Blaine : What is this, girl talk? Let's go here, come on.

  Adam : You're better than him!

  Blaine : America!

  Adam : Maybe not by a lot, but a little. You're the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!

  Blaine : The moment's over. Let's go!

  Adam : You can do this! You can get us the fuck out of here! You can be the hero!

  Nick : Enrique'-fucking'-lglesias.

  Adam : You love that song, don't you?

  Lou : I love that fucking song!

  [Lou gets up, launches himself one-footed off of the couch at Blaine. Blaine moves out of the way and punches Lou twice, knocking him back to the ground] 

  Adam : Shit.

  Lou : God damn it! None of what you said worked at all!

• April : What happened to your...

  Adam : I got stabbed in the face with a fork, I saw it coming, I avoided it, I didn't avoid it, it happened to me in a different way.

• Dr. Jeff : I'm Dr. Jeff. Lou's resting. He's denying that it's a suicide attempt. Medically, he's stable; so, medically we can't keep him here. But, we do think he should be monitored for a few days. Does he have any family?

  Adam : Lou's family all kind of hate him.

  Dr. Jeff : Okay, well, then, I guess it's up to you guys - his friends You are his friends? Right?

  Nick : It's like that friend who's the asshole. He's our asshole.

• Jacob : Shit! This is the black diamond?

  Adam : Terrifying.

  Lou : That's all you got?

  Nick : I don't remember this.

  Lou : Tips down. Tips fuckin' down! Right away. Let's ride.

• Jacob : Wait. How is this happening? Can we talk about this for a minute?

  Adam : [picks up a flyer]  Holy fuck! Winterfest '86. We were here, man. We are here! What if we run into ourselves?

• Adam : I knew this trip was a bad idea. Every time I hang out with you, man, it's some kind of shit storm. I got guilted into coming on this trip and now I'm back in the fuckin' '80s. And I hate this decade!

• Jacob : One, two, three...

  Jacob , Lou , Adam , Nick : Hot tub time machine!

  Jacob : It felt good. Admit it.

• Jenny : Everybody knows what a big deal you're gonna be some day.

  Adam : No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not anybody.

• Jenny : Adam, okay. It's not you, it's me.

  Adam : I say that to you. You don't say that to me. That's not how this works.

• Adam : I'm not really making any plans. I'm just sort of letting the universe surprise me, right?

  April : I like that. I like that a lot. That's the sign of a happy man.

• Adam : Don't fuck around, Lou. Let's go!

  Lou : I'm good here, man. I had a good day! I beat the shit out of that guy, finally! I fucked your sister!

• Adam : If you're gonna stay, I'm gonna stay!

  Lou : You'd really do that for me?

  Adam : We're best friends! If you're staying, I'm staying! Your bullshit's my bullshit, right?

  Lou : I'm your best friend?

  Adam : You are *one* of my best friends.

  Lou : I'll take that!

• Nick , Jacob , Lou , Adam : Cheers!

  Nick : To past, present and future.

• April : Maybe the universe will bring us together again.

  Adam : I hope.

• Adam , Nick : Ko... di... ak...

  Lou : ...Valley! Fuckin' K-Vals!

• April : So you're a Time Lord?

  Adam : Mmm-hmm.

  April : And a Jacuzzi is your spaceship?

  Adam : That is correct, madam.

  April : That's really the only part of this whole thing that doesn't make sense to me.

  Adam : You're not the only one, believe me. I mean, the whole thing is just totally insane!

• Adam : I'll tell you something I haven't told anybody for a long time. When I was a kid, every Friday night, my father used to take my sister Kelly and me to this place called Flat Irons for steak sandwiches. It was a family tradition.

  April : That's sometimes a good thing.

  Adam : But one year, we saw this commercial for this place called "The Enchanted Forest of Pizza." So the next Friday, my dad's loading us up into the car. We're like, "Daddy, we want to go to The Enchanted Forest of Pizza." And he's like, "What are you talking about? We always go for steak sandwiches." But we just stay at him and we're whining, and we're badgering, and finally he relents.

  April : Nice. So, you win--you deviated from the plan in, like, a really big way. That's good.

  Adam : Thirty-three people died of E. coli... including my father. Before he died, he looked at me and he said, "Adam, you did this."

  April : No, he didn't.

  Adam : Yes, he did. With his eyes.